Where do you run?

Posted by Heather Conrad at 10:25 PM

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Darn those hurt feelings! Have you had ones of those moments recently, maybe you read an email, received a voice message or text, maybe a conversation, or maybe just a look that sent a flaming, slicing arrow right through your skin, dead center into your heart? It happens. I just wish I could duck or dash to the side to avoid them, but often times, there isn't even time for that.

I've found myself in this position just recently, so it got me thinkin... how do I react? What is it I do with this hurt and subsequent wound? How do I handle an offense, often times those unmerited? Well, I've noticed a pattern lately, and it goes something like this...

Shock - What???
Defensive - I was just... I didn't mean... I was only...
Judgments - Did you have to say it like that... Can't you see... You know me...
Anger - That really hurt! How dare...
Bitterness - What did I do to deserve this?
Blaming - You... He... She...

Where does this leave me? Is the offender dwelling, or simply clueless that I'm sitting here stewing? What will I do? Where will I turn?

Now mind you, this is a process for me, but what I decided to do today, and yes it was a choice, was to run. I decided to put into action what I'm learning to be true. Run where you may ask? To my husband, to my mom, to my friend, to a trusted accountability partner? Perhaps, but I first decided to run to Him. I decided to sit down, stop my run-away-train mind, and focus on His word. I read, and as I read, I felt myself nodding my head. I was nodding because I was reading and be reminded of truth. My theory - focus + truth = lies dispelled. I prayed for a perspective that was His, I shifted my focus off of me. My intent was to "stop going there" with thoughts that were negative and destructive (though strangely justifiable) and to actually attempt to put into action what Philippians 4:8 talks about:

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.

So what happened? I received what I asked for. I saw a new perspective, I believed this perspective was good and right, I was able to work through my emotions without guilt or resentment, and I felt free of the mental anguish. Where remnants of the hurt still there? You bet, but, I was now able to "talk" about the process with the stinging emotions involved. Know what else? I quickly saw some restoration happen, all with a heart that was already free, AND without the sting of words said in anger.

So, do I have this "thing" figure out? Absolutely not, if fact, another arrow shot my way just this evening. Do I have insecurities about even typing this post? Absolutely! The phrases "running to the Lord" and "running to his Word" always seemed so super-Christian to me. Phrases only a few select could actually attain (and to be honest, they were the weirdos!) I don't know much, but this much I can say, the more I am aware of His Presence, the safer I feel. This is not some sort of escape from reality; it is tuning into ultimate reality. He is far more real that the world I can see, hear, or touch. Where will you run today?

Faith is the confirmation of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality, perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses. Hebrews 11:1 (AMP)

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