A desire to experience Him

Lately, I've found myself nearing the end of the evening, yet anticipating something... time. Time spent with my Jesus. I look forward to curling up with Him, reading from my current location, the book of John, praying, journaling, and/or picking up a book (or two) from an ongoing stack that's accumulating next to my "Jesus time" chair. Through the course of our "we-thought-we-would-be-moving, move", some much needed de-cluttering/re-organizing took place, and I envisioned a little nook of sorts where I could gather my materials and thoughts for those sit-down moments with Him. Do you have a designated area? It's made a world of difference for me, a place I pass several times as day. It's a daily reminder.

Okay, least you think I have it all together, I don't. If I have at any time portrayed the notion that every day is a "running holiday" in the Conrad home, I do apologize. My heart's desire is to simply share a few ideas/thoughts that the Lord has guided me to, and to hopefully encourage you that if this ordinary sinner can overcome, learn, and grow, you can too! My point tonight is this - to simply pass on a thought that, to me, is SO simple, yet often times overlooked - how we "feel" leads our daily decisions. But where do these fleeting feeling lead?

In her book, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl, Lysa Terkeurst writes, "When I process life through my feelings, I am left deceived and disillusioned. When I process life through God's truth, I am divinely comforted by His love and made confident in His calling on my life." Again, such a great reminder that I need to make an intentional choice with my head, knowing that my heart will eventually follow. Just as in running, there is a choice. Some days my runs are easier, but never are they effortless. Each mile - each and every step - is a choice. In order to sustain this choice, my physical body needs food for energy and life. To sustain my soul, I need time with the Lord for sustenance as well.

We have a heart cry that only Jesus can satisfy. "God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved," (Colossians 3:12) "...you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world" (John 15:19). Noticed. Picked for a specific reason - a specific purpose. Treasured. Loved. If we attempt to fill this need from the world, we will be disappointed every time. If I hold out a cup to my husband, to my children, to my family, to my friends, and plead for them to fill me up, I'll find myself going back for more each and every time. Why? We're all human, we all sin, we all mess up, we all "don't see it"; we were made to worship our Creator, not His creations.

Lysa sums it up so well,

Becoming more than a good Bible study girl means never settling for needing to feel our way to God or to limit our experiences of Him to those few minutes we call our quiet time. It's being able to sit in the noise of the arena of life with every worldly distraction imaginable bombarding you and suddenly thinking of Him - talking with Him, smiling with Him, and realizing that every longing you've ever had in life to be more that just the girl in row 116, section R, seat 24 is already filled. By Him. The One who chooses you.

My favorite question for my youngest during the day is, "Do you know that Mommy loves you?" She'll usually pause, smirk, and say, "Yes." Not two seconds later, I'll repeat the question, "Brynn, do you know that Mommy loves you?" A bit bigger smirk, and the response, "Yes." Depending on the moment, I may repeat it again. My point - I never want her to forget, or worse yet, doubt. I want my children to know that Mommy loves them, no matter what.

Do you know that Jesus loves you? Do you know that Jesus loves you? Do you know that Jesus loves you?