Posted by Heather Conrad at 9:47 PM

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Change. How does one little word invite such a broad spectrum of emotions to rise up from the pit of our stomachs to the fore-front of our brains? We don't like it, yet in some strange way, we crave it at the same time. Change brings about fear of the unknown, and also the thrill of a new adventure. Our hearts want to hang on, yet our minds are ready to plunge forward... or is it the other way around? This is where I found myself today - in a quandary of moving my head knowledge down to my heart, and in essence my soul. We're praying about a "change" in our family, and much like this picture, we're nearing decision time.

I got to pondering this topic as I took off for a run with Jesus today, my favorite way to spend some alone time with Him. It was a very hot and humid afternoon today, and I started to feel a little woozy, so I decided to cool down my temp. by walking for a bit. Not sure if you have experienced any type of dehydration before, but one tends to become a little loopy. In this state of backwards euphoria, my relaxed state of mind recognized the gentle whispers of my Jesus ask, "What is it about change?" Why he asks me a question when He already knows the answer still baffles me, yet, I picture him humoring me with a gentle, know-it-all smile, as the question is more for me than Him. Most often a question gets me thinkin. For me, change involves a different path, a different routine, or a change of thinking. I'm attempting more and more to look for the good in change. In fact, I'm actually learning to ask for change because it's in those steps of change that I grow closer and closer to the heart of my Jesus. How does this happen? I ask to grow in knowledge and depth of insight. I'm learning to ask for wisdom. I'm learning that this comes by living, breathing, and walking by faith, not necessarily by sight.

Hebrews 11 :1 1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

So, for example, when a tree expert visits my house and gives us an estimate on the removal of a dead tree in my backyard, I/we have a choice to make. I can, hang on to the tree in hope and prayer for it to regain it's life so I can "love me some green leaves and shade" again, or I can let go and realize that it, in fact, is dead. As indicated by the picture to my left, our dead 30 foot tree was gone in 20 secs. with a quick chop and a slight force. Upon closer investigation, a brown spot dead center indicated that it had been struck by lightening, yikes! Sometimes you never know what's happening on the outside until you check the inside. AND, what once gave us shade and nestled baby birds within it's branches, now provides wood, and even seats for some fun backyard campfires in the fall season to come. We envision gatherings, stories, and songs being sung around this new use of his creation - that all came about from some change.

SO, as I talk with my Jesus, and again submit my plans to Him, I choose this day to surrender what my feeble eyes can see, and lay it at his feet. A gesture of my ultimate trust in Him, and belief that he has good plans for us, even, and most importantly, when I don't fully understand. I trust you Lord, and I thank you for the peace that helps me to know that I know that you are with me, confirming my thoughts, and answering my prayers. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief (Mark 9:24).


Anonymous said...

Love this! Beautifully written! Hope you are doing well!!!