Heal the wound...

I Moved!!!

2010-05-21T00:14:00.003-04:00

As of May 20, 2010 I have officially moved my blog over to Wordpress. You can find the new blog at the following links:

Blog: http://healthewound.wordpress.com/

Feed: http://healthewound.wordpress.com/feed/

Please update your feed readers and blogrolls. Thank you for following my blog. I'll see you at the new site.

Book Review

2010-05-17T23:42:00.004-04:00

Here we are again, anther great book to share about! As the mailman graced the door just before our trip this past weekend, God's timing could not have been more perfect. You see, my little girl just turned seven on Saturday - 7!!! I always heard about time flying in reference to children, but now I totally get it! As we had some time to spare in the family van, we had a chance to read parts together. What a simply precious read! This makes a great gift for any "girls" in your life!

Authors Jack Countryman and Amy Parker have compiled a wonderful hard-back book that can be read over and over. This can be used as a devotional read, a reference book as situations and/or needs arise, and even serves as a great reminder of the characteristics of our Heavenly Father. It's set-up with short two-page categorizes with a brief rhyming commentary (4-lines), and the rest of the page is filled with scripture.

Content categorizes include "God's Promises When..." (You are Worried, You Need Help, You Feel Lonely) "God's Promises About..." (The Woman You'll Grow up to Be, His Love, His Grace) "God Wants You To...", and several others. The pictures included are simply adorable, and just add to the special-ness of the words the Lord leaves for us in His Word. These verses are such a source of comfort and encouragement as we need reassurance of God's protection, love, and forgiveness. I believe, as children see again and again that Scripture has answers to our questions and feelings, they will learn to rely on God and his promises.

Have a wonderful day in Him!

Yet another great weekend!

2010-05-17T22:09:00.007-04:00

The crazy frenzy that has been life in the Conrad household yet continued this past weekend. Funny how we "mark" things on the calendar and know they are approaching, even anticipate most, yet the daily glance and one wonders how it can all be accomplished. And God says, I AM. He truly does provide and it simply is a pleasure to obey, knowing that His provision goes before me.
Friday evening, our daughter celebrated her birthday with three of her closest friends. We went bowling, then returned for pizza, cake, and presents, of course :) What a joy is was simply to watch these seven years olds interact with one another. They simply love each other with tender, compassionate, and encouraging hearts, each one unique, each one giggly, each one gifted. Girls are different than boys, I know, news flash. Instead of competitive teasing, jabs, and jokes, there were hugs, cheers, and gentle redirecting. One girl in particular has special needs, yet this is simply an adult label, they love and accept her just as she is, gently guiding her if some behavior just wasn't appropriate. May this last.... just a bit longer....

Saturday morning, bright a early, 7 other girlfriends and I piled into the van and headed downtown for the Race for the Cure. Perfect weather! What a ball simply to participate with some who had trained to run this morning for the first time. It was such a joy to be able to run with my great friend Jen who was celebrating several events with this run today. I loved, loved hearing the stories afterwards, the accomplishment of a task that at times seemed unconquerable. There's just something about running... I loved it, for me, it was a vision come true, I pray that perhaps it may become an annual tradition.

Well, no rest for the weary. Upon returning home, we all bathed, packed, and piled into the van, this time bound for Cleveland. We arrived downtown in time to pick up race packets for Aaron, his sister, and his brother-in-law. The kids and I (and Wubzzy!) walked around and looked at all the Cleveland landmarks, such fun history to share with the kids about our hometown. Next, we headed to my parents to unload and situate the puppy, then headed off to dinner to celebrate Emma's true birthday. Red Robin is was! As our party of 12 sat and shared food and conversation, I couldn't help but think about my dear mother-in-law who would have loved to see this. We gathered in celebration of her life this weekend, a service would be had the following day.

Sunday morning, bright and early (sense a theme here :) we awoke, dressed, and headed out the door for Aaron fourth half-marathon race in four weekends (whew!) After having the wonderful opportunity to visit with my brother, his wife, and newborn baby the evening before, I was surprisingly awake, ready for a morning in support of Daddy. We wore special shirts in honor of Mom and Grandma, as we walked Daddy to the starting line, and waited at the finish, blowing bubbles, making signs on a white board, and eating blow-pops! Aaron had a great run, a great tribute to the race of life his mother endured while here with us. The service was beautiful. A testimony to her life of compassion, and her legacy left unto her children. I couldn't have been more proud of Aaron. His voice was strong, and steady, his words were genuine and thoughtful, his love for his family just outpouring. I think I fell in love with him just a little bit more that afternoon, what an amazing man he is, humble and God-honoring.

After another dinner spent together as a family, we packed up and headed home (in a quiet van may I add). As a went for a run this evening, I had such a sweet time with the Lord. I reflected again on the service, and I had a vision. In it, I stood and spoke a few words. I spoke of the a time I remember headingover to Mom's porch shortly after we were engaged. As with many young brides, I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed at some decisions that needed to be made. You see, the thing about the Conrad house was that anyone was welcome. 'Come as you are' was invisibly written above the door. I felt a sense of freedom in her presence - freedom to simply be me, and in those moments, I felt free to led go of a few tears, and as a result, I left feeling lighter, more focused. Fast forward a few years, I was laying in a hospital bed, in labor with our third child. She sat next to me, and gave me a diamond ring, a family ring. You see, her mother-in-law had given it to her, symbolizing her view of me as her own daughter and her love she wanted to bestow. Lord willing, I will be able to pass this along the the wife of our son - traditions, family legacy, this was her passion, her life goal. Fast forward just six months ago, they were here for a visit from Houston over Christmas. I vividly remember showering, and hearing the gentle whisper I've come to know as my Savior, asking me, "Heather, I want you to wash my servant's feet." In cheerful obedience, I entered Mom's room with some of my favorite foot lotion and simply "washed" her feet. As we talked, I had a chance to ask her, "Mom, where are you at with Jesus. What words have you been thinkin about?" Without hesitation she stated, "Palms 139, and Palm 23". Her heart was focused on Him.

I actually became emotional as I was running. I remember staring into her blue eyes and telling her, "Mom, I love you." Without any words spoken, I knew she loved me too. I know she loved, for she modeled it well. She was more than a mother-in-law, she was the one who gave birth to my husband, who trained him up, and even trained me up. She was my friend. I'm so sorry I was not able to speak the words at the time, but I do feel the Lord spoke them to her on my behalf, it was a precious run for me tonight. I thank you Jesus. I love you Mom.

Sermon Notes

2010-05-11T23:30:00.002-04:00

Notes. Is there such a concept anymore? In this world of tweets, I-pods, and I-pads, does anyone take good ol" fashioned paper and pencil notes? Well, one girl does. Perhaps my technological skills haven't quite kept up with the fast-paced changes, yet there is something about the constant of the hand-written word, it stands the test of time, unless a puppy is in the room (did I just type that?)

My husband started to post notes a few times before and it got me to thinkin bout how great of a habit this really is. I do enjoy engaging my brain to focus on the message by writing as I hear, yet a second, even more important purpose is to re-visit the lesson throughout the week and even as the future spurs a memory jog.

As Aaron so kindly transported our son to his baseball tournament Sunday morning, the girls and I attended church for a fun Mother's Day morning. We were serenaded by a smashing rendition of the B-I-B-L-E, and I'm in the Lord's Army by our preschool children (proud Momma watched our youngest not miss one word!) We enjoyed watching little ones dedicated to the Lord by their families, and we also heard a lesson straight from the Spirit Himself. Pastor Denny talked with us, and I do mean with us, about handing down our faith, starting with 2 Timothy 1:1-7.

He gave us 5 keys words to keep in mind:

1. Possess it - is our faith sincere, genuine, authentic, not a hokey-pokey type of faith with one foot in and one foot out?

2. Proclaim it - Deuteronomy 6:4-6 talks about impressing, literally leaving a mark. How? Simply talking about it. Funny how we talk about the things that are important to us. When? sitting at home (formal instruction), along the road (perhaps the car, going from place to place), when they lie down and get up (last things they think about at night, first thing that think of in the morning). What do we surround ourselves with? The Bible talks about writing it on our "doorframes".

3. Don't Provoke - Ephesians 6:4 says do not exasperate your children. Exasperate meaning to stir up bitterness or resentment. How do we do this? By comparing, withholding praise, expecting too much, or even physical and verbal abuse. Do we abuse our children with sarcasm or superior argument?. Do we say things to our kids that we wouldn't say to others? Instead, help them be able to please you like they want to.

4. Participate - Ephesians 5:29 says we are to nurture to maturity. 6:4 Talks about us bringing children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. We are to be communicators of truth, and our pastor's role is to be a teammate in this process. We are cautioned to think of how WE, as parents, are to be participator's, not only having the mindset of how others will participate in this instruction.

5. Be Persistent - pray for strength to persist, Galatians 6:9 claims, let us not be weary in doing good. 1 Corinthians 9:25,26 talks about focus in being persistent. We are warned and reminded that Satan is smart, cunning, and patient. If we've been faithful followers for say 25 years, can we still get off track? If this is Paul's concern, shouldn't it be ours as well?

Well, how exactly can we tackle these 5 "P"s? Denny challenged us with the basics - read the Bible WITH them (short, engaging sessions at that), pray with them, and teach them a biblical worldview.

From one parent to perhaps another, this was a great reminder for me. So often we have great intentions and great "resolve" as to sticking with a new spiritual plan, but all too often we get off track. I love the reminder that His mercies are new every morning, and that we can begin again, and again, and again. It's a joy and a privilege to "train up a child in the way they should go". May I never take this lightly or for granted. A priority in my life will be a priority in my children's lives as well. Thanks for obeying the Spirit Pastor Denny! May you enjoy a blessed week!

Another amazing weekend

2010-05-10T12:23:00.003-04:00

Ever have those weekends where you look back and you wonder how in the world the Lord allowed all that had happened to actually happen? He is a pretty amazing God. Providing just what you need, when you need it (even when we don't ask). In a flurry of activity, my parents arrived as the kids and I were walking home from school on Friday, gave all the "instructions", ran to pick up a flowers sale order from the school, to get back just in time to take our son to a friend's (who so kindly gave him a lift to his baseball game), to hurry home to quickly pack and take off for Indianapolis. Aaron and I enjoyed a great car ride, some dinner, and with some traffic issues, we arrived at a friends home at 10:00 pm that evening.

Aaron has a friend whom he has met through the fascinating world of blogging (aka God connecting people who you would otherwise never meet). Not only did Matt and his wife Candance, welcome us into their home, they too experienced the race with us. We rode together to Matt's place of employment downtown where we used wonderful restroom facilities and a warm place to stretch. The starting line was only a five minute walk. It was a windy morning, but the weather could not have been more perfect for running - cool, a breeze when you needed it, no rain.

So, at 7:30 am, the four of us, along with 40,000 other crazies took off to endure 13.1 miles of running pleasure. Let me tell you, there is nothing like running the race of life "with" someone. Yes, we were surrounded by thousands of others, but I was "known" by 3. The Lord took Aaron on a slightly different mission this race, we separated around mile 4, and He had me run with Candance. What a gift to enjoy the same pace, to check in with one another, encourage her as the miles came and went, and to watch her smile as she achieved her goal time. Only God can open hearts and lift legs to reach goals and distances that the mind cannot conceive.

1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" —

Aaron finished right with us, with a smile on his face and a story on his heart. Thank you Lord for the most memorable, enjoyable race in the whirlwind of our "3 in 3" weekend montage. It's such a joy to just be able to run, to run simply in obedience, and to be thankful for all the blessings along the way. This coming Saturday, I'll be able to enjoy yet one more run with some great girlfriends as we support the Race for the Cure - can't think of a better way to celebrate in the gift of running and friendship.

Well, the rest of the weekend flew by in true Conrad style. We hurried home after the race to make it to our son's baseball tournament, endured the wind, rain, and cool temperatures in joy of cheering on the team to victory. We enjoyed a great family meal and finished off the evening with a movie (a few parts we missed, Aaron called us bobble-heads).

Sunday morning we awoke at 6:30 with a call for a 7:30 baseball game - yep, Happy Mother's Day. I sent the boys out the door as the girls as I got ready for church. What a fabulous morning! I'll be posting sermon notes next, just some great stuff - moms were honored, babies were dedicated, lessons were received. All the while, I could communicate with the "boys" via texting. They were doing well, so with a quick change of clothes, and a bag of goodies packed, we were out the door again (after a swing through the drive through :) The tournament ended well for them, and we traveled home to enjoy some downtime. While the family rested via the Cavs game, I had a wonderful opportunity to head over to my little sister's. She and her husband are just so thrilled with the purchase of their first home. It was a great opportunity to visit as we painted her beautiful bedroom. The evening was capped off with a lovely dinner, compliments of Red Robin. The whole gang gathered, all 16 of us, and my mother couldn't have glowed more.

Happy Belated Mother's Day to you! A special note of compassion and understanding to those celebrating the memory of your mother. As this was Aaron's first year in a memory celebration, my heart goes out to you as well. We're all here simply because of the love and labor of our moms. Perfect we are not, yet loved so much by our creator that He would sent His son to make a way to spend eternity together. Have a wonderful day in Him!

Is it okay to be needy?

2010-05-07T07:03:00.004-04:00

Ahhhh, the neediness factor. In my humble experience, we run the gamut with this one. Just as my pendulum clock swings back and forth several times a minute, perhaps we find ourselves somewhere between fierce independence and protection, and a sheer thrown down in exhaustion of our desire to be filled back up. The Lord has simply placed a very timely book, literally in my mailbox, and then onto my lap. I'm so grateful for the time of reflection and a glance down the road towards some understanding and healing in the area of friendships. I'm wondering if perhaps the Lord wants to share that same message with you today, or even someone you love? Will you risk the pain that can accompany transparency and vulnerability for the hope of freedom, stronger bonds, and even the thought of knowing love in the truest of forms?

Author and actor, Lisa Whelchel, has written a book born out of experience and a simple desire to share her heart. Friendships for Grown-ups, guides the reader in delving into this topic of neediness and in recognizing safe people. She shares about her notion of striving for perfection as a way to connect with people, only to realize that this very 'shininess' acted like Teflon and prevented any kind of lasting bond. Lisa shares openly her successes, and her failures, and along the way, the people in her stories start taking on the faces of ones you know. Perhaps the Lord has something he wants to show you in 'these faces' as well? She doesn't proclaim this to be a self-help book, a book with all the answers to all your questions, a direct set of rules to follow, she only ask you to open your heart to taking a glance at how you view yourselves and the friendships you've developed or not developed along this journey of life.

Funny thing is, as her heart became vulnerable to others, so was her heart more open and able to receive more of the love Christ has to offer. In her final chapter, Lisa describes the gift of Immanuel,

I am learning that an easy place to exercise my presence-practicing muscles in within friendships. When I am with a friend, I want to be fully engaged with her. Eyes connected, ears attuned, opinions on hold, mouth in neutral, heart wide open. The more in-the-moment encounters I have on the human level, the easier it is for me to be with Immanuel, in an incarnational way. Not worrying about the future or regretting the past. Not trying to think the right thoughts or say words that will cause him to act. Just being with him.

Are you afraid? Do you have reservations? Have you built walls of protection around your heart and stand guard very diligently? Though it may appear to be safe, what else could you be possibly missing out on? From one wall-builder to anther, I implore you to pray for God to help you to go there. Ask him to help you take one brick at a time. He promises us that he hears us. If you can trust in His timing, He knows your heart (after all He created it!), and he is gentle to show you all He has in store for you, but only if you give Him permission. I will be praying...

Have a wonderful day in Him! And get your hands on this book!

Disclosure of Material Connection: Thomas Nelson Publishers sent me a free copy of this book as part of their bloggers book review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

A weekend to remember

2010-05-04T23:02:00.012-04:00

Ever have those days that just seem to fly by in a blur, and in a moment of "sitting down" you realize all that transpired and then your body truly SHOWS you all that transpired? It hit, hard, but it was such a good feeling. In the spirit of simply sharing the good news, just wanted to journal a short recap of the events in the Conrad household.

Thursday, my dear friend Rachel sent me a text - Scored some free tickets for Women of Faith, can you go? CAN I? Let me check with the hubbie.... - I'm IN!!!! To wrap up the experience in one word I would call it a gift. Plain and simple, I did not earn it nor deserve it, yet we simply drove, parked, picked up free tickets, and walked down to the floor section, fourth from the stage. Yep, I literally felt like Mandisa was giving us a personal concert. We were even close even to see her sport her blue snuggie in between times (rock on!) Incidentally, there are only a few CDs that I actually listen to all the way through, hers is one of them, AND I so happened to be listening just that afternoon as I walked the puppy! It also just so happened the Lord placed a book in my mailbox, WHICH just so happens to be the book that author Lisa Whelchel spoke about THAT NIGHT! (review soon to come!) As if that was not enough blessing, Rachel was tweeting with a very special lady, who we just so happened to walk a few feet to meet right after the session. None other than the wife of Michael Hyatt, president and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing - beautiful Gail herself! Yes, I was giddy to take a picture with her!

That was Friday. Late to bed, early to rise, in fact my entire household (6) + 5 more runners, pulled out of driveway around 6:15 am. It just was a ball to all drive downtown together, to semi-stretch and chat before the Half Marathon race here in Columbus. It turned out to be an amazing morning. The course was different from years past, new bends and turns to enjoy. Around mile 4, I joined with my husband and our friend Matt. At mile 6, it began to drizzle, a nice relief from a bit of humidity. Our friend Denise passed by soon after that. Just before mile 9, I felt my energy dwindle, only to round a corner to a very nice downhill with a breeze to greet us as well. The last few I simply enjoyed - call it runner's high, out of body experience, or just plain joy in feeling His presence -I was able to celebrate the amazing feat that my body is simply able to run at all - to be able to endure and complete the task. The most exciting part to me - running alongside my soul-mate, reflecting on each year of marriage as each mile was completed, 13 in all!

What is there to do after completing a race? Well, have a party of course! It's tradition around here. This time we celebrate the birthdays of our two girls! Family and friends came to celebrate, Chick-Fil-A provided much needed energy in the form of chicken nuggets and sweet tea, and we stayed up late into the night again!

Sunday, it was time for another celebration. This came in the form of a ladies Spring Tea that was held at the Dublin Rec. Center on behalf of Journey Church. I put on some high heels around 8:30 that morning, and didn't take them off until I returned home at 6:00 that evening - whew! We had a great time and was deeply grateful for all the time and energy that so many ladies gave to make this opportunity for connection possible. The girls and I enjoyed time with my mom, my sister, and several other girlfriends. It's just fun to be girly!!

All in all, I've had a chance to reflect on just how much fun life really can be, even more so if I can choose the right attitude and pray for his strength in time of recognized fatigue. My cup is full... time for a nap...zzzzz

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

My most favoritest race

2010-04-27T23:34:00.008-04:00

What a weekend! Aaron and I began the drive down with sunny skies, turned cloudy and rainy, and hit sunshine again by the time we arrived downtown Nashville to pick up our registration packets. The drive was fantastic, who knew how fast 6 hours could fly by - a quiet car, quite a variety of musical tunes playing (you just have to know Aaron), times to get a little shut eye (that is, when your husband doesn't hit the rumble strips - repeatedly!) some great reading, and just some time for thoughts, uninterrupted - very precious.

Thanks to the generous hospitality of the Schroeder family, we enjoyed a fabulous meal, great conversation, and a good night sleep. This race was indeed special in a unique way. Our great friends, Matt and Rachel, have a very special daughter. Her name is Taylor, and she is 13 years old. In celebration of her life, we wore shirts in remembrance of 13 miles for 13 years. It was a privilege and an honor to not only participate together, but to simply share our lives this weekend. There's something about traveling a road together, that just brings to life sheer goodness and joy.

Favorite memories:

The first 2 miles, everyone is cutting up, it's all business after that :)
We were blessed with beautiful blue skies, despite the nasty weather forecasts. We didn't feel the first drops until we were heading for our cars - only God.
A cool breeze at just the right moment while inclining over a bridge.
The one flat part that lasted about .25 miles.
Watching by husband lead as we zig-zagged around part of the 30,000 runners that participated. He always seemed to find a pathway that allowed us to keep our pace.
A much needed apple slice that Aaron handed me around mile 5.
A little girl handing us a water bottle that saved us for about 2 miles.
Forgetting my I-pod, only to hear the amazing sounds of country bands, and people breathing hard :)
Hearing the voice of angels, only to draw nearer to a church where their praise choir actually lifted me up with their song (as well as my hands), just a reflex. I still remember the goose bumps.
Loosing Aaron in the crowd around mile 10, only to have him pop up out of no where to hand me some fabulous jelly beans. Some guy had a candy stand!
Watching a few people receive medical attention, and thanking my Jesus for giving me the experience of a pain-free, enjoyable race!
Crossing the finish-line with nothing left but praise!

Thank you Aaron for another great weekend! What a privilege and an honor to be running this race of life with you! The opportunity to run, rest, and simply enjoy great food, music, and company has filled me with nothing but sheer gratitude. Every day of training was worth it. I'd do it all over again. Oh yeah, we are doing it all over again, in 3 more days. Can't wait!

Devotional Thursday

2010-04-22T17:08:00.004-04:00

Good afternoon to you all! I must admit that it wasn't until I had a few moments in the car this afternoon that the Lord brought to mind the fact that is was Thursday, oh my, where has the week gone. In His timely fashion, I was previously things through some details about a Spring Tea we are hosting at Journey Church. It actually will take place in the afternoon, a high tea time - how appropriate. In the same token, only an hour earlier, I had a chance to stop and visit with my dear friend Amanda. She just so happened to hand me this delightful devotional called, "Woman of God, Moments of Grace", something she just so happened-upon, and graciously thought of me. Don't you just love when God blesses you with tremendous friendships! Enjoy!

Loyal - Tea

loyalty: the quality of being loyal, faithful in allegiance

It was three o'clock in the morning and there she was again! The tags on the collar of our dog. Cassie, a large German Shepherd, jingled in the darkness outside my window. I found comfort in the occasional hoot of an owl and the sound of crickets chirping. But the jingling was specials. I snuggled under the covers with a smile, feeling very protected and very loved by my loyal sentry.

We had bought Cassie into our home several months before. She arrived as a tiny puppy peeking anxiously out of my husband's coat pocket. In just months, she had grown into a 90-pound dog! Her self-imposed mission in life, besides chasing cars on our dirt road and exploring woods behind our house, was to stand guard, to protect us.

As each day would draw to an end and darkness began to settle, Cassie would begin her guard duty. Every hour, on the hour, she would inspect the perimeter. A well-worn path around our house gave evidence of Cassie's hourly marches. As dawn appeared, Cassie would end her vigil. What a loyal and faithful friend!

In a far larger sense, the eternally important sense, each believer enjoys the love of Christ, our faithful friend and brother. We are loved, cherished, and protected by the One who would give his life for ours, someone who did give his life for ours! His love and loyalty will never end. Jesus walks with us through the dark valleys of our questioning, stubbornness, disappointment, and despair. Still, his allegiance, grace, and commitment never waiver. He never grows tired. He will never leave us or forsake us.

Jesus has promised to guard and shield us. No matter what happens, he walks beside us to guide, help, and comfort. In times of joy and times of trouble, our Lord treasures his relationship with us. He invites us to spend time with him, as we back in the warmth of his friendship.

Will we reciprocate? Will we respond by offering back to him our loyalty and allegiance in return? Will we live to honor the One who died for us?

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Anticipation

2010-04-16T07:21:00.005-04:00

Sometimes in life, it's just great to anticipate something, to look forward to a future event and all the possibilities it holds in it's hand. Perhaps you can recall your prom night, perhaps your wedding, maybe even a birth, or a favorite vacation. As the "day" draws nearer, you get twinges of butterflies, wonder, or even giddiness. Perhaps a bit of fear, or nervousness of all that could transpire takes it's gripe for a few moments, then your mature side tells you to stop dwelling and get back to the excited part. That's me. I'm anticipating Nashville, TN.

What's there you may wonder? Well, at some way-to-early in the morning time, my husband and I will be waking up, drinking fluids, and tying up our laces. We hit the pavement once again to travel a road that is roughly 13.1 miles, and I can't wait!!

Why you might say? Though a race always brings with it lessons galore, closeness with my Jesus, and a high like no other, I'm also looking forward to the entire weekend. Thanks to my gracious and loving parents, Aaron and I will be able to spend time with some "internet" friends while they generously let us hang our hats in their home for the weekend, AND we have friends from Columbus traveling down as well! Click here to read more about their "story" as they journey this course for the love of their daughter.

Even more than precious time together, even more than beautiful sights to see, even more than special memories yet to come - I want to pause this morning and simply say "thank you". Thank you Lord for all the awful "training" runs that have led us to this point, thank you for all the aches and pains that continuously point me to you and your strength, thank you for my life-time partner and our opportunity to journey together, thank you for precious friendships that simply enrich our lives. Thank you for your provision, may I never take that for granted. Have a wonderful day in Him!

Devotional Thursday

2010-04-14T12:08:00.003-04:00

Grace... doesn't that word just roll off the tongue like smooth butter. It's an amazing word, with an amazing meaning. Today's devotional comes from one of my favorite authors, Max Lucado (insert girly squeal!) Our family had a chance to meet him at a book signing, and we teasingly talked about using that for our Christmas Card family photo. He is a truly kind, generous, and transparent man.

Before I share the devotion, needed to take a short side trip with you. Today my five year old and I enjoyed some time at a different park. At this park, there is a balance-beam-type of bridge, the kind that swings as you attempt to cross it. I watched my little darling walk across it with ease, then I heard, "Mommy, you try it." "Oh boy, this ought to be something..." I thought. Already chuckling to myself, I attempted to cross. My thoughts ran something like this... slow and steady. Well, I was slow, definitely not steady. In fact, the more I attempted to correct the swaying, the faster I swayed until I finally fell off. I attempted a different tactic the second time (I couldn't just leave it at that!). I decided to just ignore the swaying and keep pressing forward, in effect, using the swaying to guide me across. Guess what? I crossed with ease. Ain't this life? As life swirls around us, we look down in a futile attempt to ground ourselves. Much different outcome when we look up and walk forward, even with the swaying all around us.

Insufficient Funds

People cannot do any good work that will make them right with God. Romans 4:5

If Christ had not covered us with His grace, each of us would be overdrawn on our heavenly bank account. When it comes to goodness we would have insufficient funds. Inadequate holiness. God requires a certain balance of virtue in our account, and it's more than any of us has alone. Our holiness account shows insufficient funds, and only the holy will see the Lord; what can we do?

We could try making a few deposits. Maybe if I wave at my neighbor or compliment my husband or go to church next Sunday, I'll get caught up. But how do you know when you've made enough?...

If you are trying to justify your own statement, forget ever having peace.... You are trying to justify an account you can't justify.... "It is God who justifies" (Romans 8:33)

Another great read

2010-04-12T21:17:00.004-04:00

Perhaps you find yourself with a few minutes to spare in your day. Perhaps the thought of sitting down to read at the end of the evening only brings thoughts of dozing off. Perhaps reading doesn't rank real high on your "gotta do it today" list. Perhaps this is the book just for you!

Stormie OMartian, author of The Power of Praying books (more than 7 million copies sold), writes about this prayer that changes everything. She includes 30 chapters (5-7 pages each), that cover topics as to reasons to praise God now, and times when praise is crucial. Each short chapter includes a powerful prayer, scriptures, and even questions for further thought. It's a book I pick up here and there, and every time God speaks to me in my present circumstances.

Here's an excerpt that hit me today:

We don't want our children to take the good things we give them for granted. We want them to be grateful and appreciative. We don't want them to only come to us for money or things. While we enjoy giving these things to them, we don't want that to be the biggest part of our relationship. We want them to want to be with us just because they love us. And we, in turn, want to simply be with them, so we can impart ourselves and our love into their souls.

God wants that too. And sometimes he withdraws the fullness of His gifts and presence so we will seek after Him. Just to be with Him.

God wants us to value Him more than anything He can give us. He delights in giving us things. It's His nature. It gives Him pleasure. Bu He will withhold when it's necessary, when it seems that we desire the gifts more than the Giver. He wants us to love Him enough to simply be with Him. To seek Him as our greatest gift. Just because He is.

It takes faith to come to God simply to be with Him. It proves, first of all, that we believe He exists. And that He is our greatest gift. We're not just throwing a prayer out in the universe to see if God might pick up on it and do something. "Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him" (Hebrews 11:6). When we go to God just to "be" with Him, He is our reward. When we come before Him in worship for no other reason than because we value Him above all things, He rewards us with Himself.

The way to maintain a passion for His presence is to be in His presence often. His presence is addictive. The more we experience Him, the more we want.

Devotional Thursday

2010-04-08T09:50:00.005-04:00

Today's devotional is taken from an entry in Sharon Jaynes' book, Extraordinary Moments With God. One of my favorite authors and speakers, Sharon has a way of bringing real-life stories into the light of Jesus' words. Within these "God moments", you begin to sense His presence in extraordinary ways. Just as God spoke to the uneducated fishermen, the housewife at the well, and the shepherd in the field, He continues to speak to ordinary men and women today, just as Sharon claims. She writes from the mindset that in recognizing the gentle nudges, detecting the still small voice, and turning aside from the busyness, we too can see the "burning bushes" in our own backyards.

Her entry today is entitled: The Winner

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7

It was the first swim meet of the year for the newly formed, middle-school aquatic team. The atmosphere was electric with anticipation as 48 adolescents thought of nothing but victory. Justin was among the bunch, and he was swimming the 500-yard freestyle for the first time.

Toward the end of his race everyone had finished...except Justin. His hands slapped against the water, and it looked like he might go under at any moment. But something kept pushing him onward even though the race had been won eight minutes before.

One teammate, inspired by his brave friend, went to the side of the pool and walked the lane as Justin pressed on.

"Come on Justin, you can do it! Keep going! Don't give up!"

He was joined by another, then another, until the entire team was walking the length of the pool, encouraging their friend to finish the race. Soon the opposing team saw what was happening and joined in the chant. Previously concerned parents rose to their feet cheering, shouting, and praying. The room pulsated with energy and excitement as teammates and opponents alike pumped courage into one small swimmer.

Twelve long minutes after the starting whistle had blown, and exhausted but smiling Justin swam his final lap and struggled to pull himself our of the pool. The crowd has applauded the swimmer who finished the race, but they gave Justin a greater cheer for simply finishing the race.

To all you "runners" (and former swimmers :), may we keep in mind today that it's not about finishing first, it's just about the one foot, or "arm slap" to the next. Our finish line awaits us in the heavenly realms, for "great is our reward". Have a terrific Thursday!

Special Needs Conference

2010-04-05T22:47:00.004-04:00

If I asked you the question, "Who inspires you?", what would you say? Perhaps a family member, a public figure, maybe even a historic persona. I would say, my friends Carrie and Erika. They do not take for granted what many of us do - the health of our children. They are mothers to boys with fragile health. Their care is required around the clock, their lifestyles have changed quite dramatically, they love with a passionate pursuit. They would also tell you that words they have often thought include, "I am all alone."

Born from this amazing call in their life, they would also tell you one more thing - what a gift they are to one another as moms. Recognizing this gift, they've had a dream of gathering together moms who might also feel alone in the care for the needs of their special children. With a desire on their heart, and a purpose in their mission, a one-day conference is being held here in Hilliard, Ohio.

If you, or another that you know, cares for a special child, please feel free to pass along the information. I have a feeling, God might have something very special planned for her. She is not alone.

You Are Not Alone Conference

It's a runner's world...

2010-04-01T23:44:00.004-04:00

One might say that I am prioritizing reading time over sleep time, and they might be correct. I've been "checkin in" with God to make sure I'm following his lead in this area, but I can't stop myself from sharing another excerpt from yet another book I'm in the midst of reading currently. I've heard it spoken about it several circles and I've been so excited to join in the frenzy, just so happened the library had it available for me now, so here we go.

The title of this book is Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. I'm about halfway through, again, soaking up words just as a sponge soaks up water. Tonight I found myself reading, guess what? About a running analogy, cue perked up "ears". (maybe I've been hangin out with little Wubzzy too often lately). He writes:

Imagine going for a run while eating a box of Twinkies. Besides being self-defeating and sideache-inducing, it would also be next to impossible - you would have to stop running in order to eat the Twinkies.

In the same way, you have to stop loving and pursuing Christ in order to sin. When you are pursuing love, running toward Christ, you do not have an opportunity to wonder, Am I doing this right? or Did I serve enough this week? When you are running toward Christ, you are freed to serve, love, and give thanks without guilt, worry, or fear. As long as you are running, you are safe.

But running is exhausting - if, that is, we are running from sin or guilt, out of fear. (Or if we haven't run in a while.) However, if we train ourselves to run toward our Refuge, toward Love, we are free - just as we are called to be.

As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural. As long as we are pursuing Him, we are satisfied in Him. It is when we stop actively loving Him that we find ourselves restless and gravitating toward other means of fulfillment.

Devotional Thursday

2010-03-31T22:34:00.005-04:00

Today's devotional comes from the book, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young. I could give you a synopsis of the book, a glimpse into the life of this author, but what I feel compelled to share with you is how uniquely and personally the Lord speaks to me through this author, every time I pick up this book. To say I highly recommend this is an understatement. I pray that these inspired words may hit you in the heart today.

I am calling you to a life of constant communion with Me. Basic training includes learning to live above your circumstances, even while interacting on that cluttered plane of life. You yearn for a simplified lifestyle, so that your communication with Me can be uninterrupted. But I challenge you to relinquish the fantasy of an uncluttered world. Accept each day just as it comes, and find Me in the midst of it all.

Talk with Me about every aspect of your day, including your feelings. Remember that your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you; it is to keep in communicating with Me. A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end of the day. Do not let your to-do list (written or mental) become an idol directing your life. Instead, ask My Spirit to guide you moment by moment. He will keep you close to Me.

1 Thessalonians 5:17; Proverbs 3:6

the wilderness

2010-03-30T11:57:00.005-04:00

I'm reading another fabulous book right now. My friend Rachel recently found this gem on the Lifeway shelves, even before it was said to release - divine appointment. She so graciously let me borrow this in our never-ending thirst for growing closer to the heart of our Lord. The title is, "One in a Million", written by Priscilla Shirer. The subtitle includes, "journey to your promised land", which so succinctly describes the parallel of the wilderness experiences of the Israelites of long ago, to the same journey we each traverse in our journeys.

The back covers states:

When you meet someone who lives, eats, breathes Christian faith, you want what they've got more than anything - their seamless intimacy with God, their prayer power, their spiritual stamina, their passionate sense of expectation, the kind that doesn't shrink into despair at the first sign of setback.

Bow badly to you want it? Enough to toss anything from your life that keeps you from being 100 percent His? Enough to allow God's spirit to bring radical spiritual change that might just scare you right out of your comfort zone? Enough to wait on God long and hard and invite whatever He requires to get ready for what's next?

That's how one-in-a-millions to do it.

This is quite a challenge ey? As I sat and soaked up the words last night, I simply felt compelled to share with you today a bit about the wilderness. Perhaps today, you are wandering, or perhaps you're just on the other side looking back... here's what God spoke through Priscilla:

It's awful easy to get disillusioned with God out here in the wilderness. It's easy to think He's forgotten you, doesn't care about you, doesn't love you. It's easy to start asking why you best isn't good enough to earn you at lease a little bit of relief from this constant upset and turmoil, from the choking dryness and dustiness.

But listen, you don't have to figure out the wilderness. You don't have to fix the wilderness. You don't have to explain to your church friends why you're going through the wilderness. Your job as a much loved, highly treasured child of God is simply to yield to the wilderness because it's often in the wilderness where are runaway desires can finally be boiled down to this: "One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD and to meditate in His temple" (Ps. 27:4)

The wilderness is God's way of making us want the only thing that's really worth having.

The wilderness, my friend, is worth it.

Devotional Thursday

2010-03-25T13:44:00.003-04:00

So.... I just had an idea. Sometimes "just-in" ideas are a bit scary, but I'm going with it before I talk myself out of it :) Not sure about you, but the Lord sends me special messages, in between all the "junk", in my in-box. It comes in different forms, but today's really hit me. I'd love to share it with you. And it fact, I think I'll be more intentional about sharing in choosing a scheduled day to place it into my routine. Thursday sounds great to me, why not. It's not the beginning, not the end, not even the middle, so Thursday it is.

Today's devotional comes from 66 Love Letters: A Conversation with God that Invites You into His Story by Dr. Larry Crabb.

The Book of Galatians

God says, your preoccupation with satisfaction is the corruption beneath your compulsions. Your expectation of feeling everything you want to feel in this fallen world renders you vulnerable to false teachers who, in the name of My Son, offer you a strategy that promises to let you feel as complete now as you will feel forever in heaven.

Like My followers in the province of Galatia, you're drawn to a perversion of My story. And your freedom to love no matter how you feel is replaced by slavery to a compulsive need to feel good about yourself before you feel able to love another.

Gospel freedom means neither to indulge your whims nor keep My rules. Whim-indulgers and rule-keepers are slaves to the corruption within them that demands a kind of satisfaction My Son will not provide for you in this life.

My Son has set you free to love, to believe I am good and that the good story I am telling is unfolding under His control. Faith in Me and hope for tomorrow frees you to love today.

And loving with divine power releases a kind of joy into your soul that nothing else can bring.

Book Report

2010-03-24T21:13:00.004-04:00

There is that saying - don't judge a book by it's cover - however, this cover couldn't display a better visual concept for this delightful book, or beautifully depict the "flavor" of this author any better. Known for her involvement as a Women of Faith speaker, Pasty Clairmont gives us a whimsical look at the directness of the book of Proverbs.

The book is comprised of 33 chapters, short in length (4-5 pages), that delve into a variety of topics from 'Stretch Marks' to 'It's the Nomad Life for Me'. Each chapter concludes which a few questions to ponder and list of several scriptures to "Hold to the Light".

This book serves a purpose for the reader to 'grab' when he or she has a few minutes to spare. In grabbing a handful of 'good cereal' this gives the reader some food for thought and a boost for their day. I can also see it working well for group gatherings, or even a great way to unwind at the end of the day.

Patsy has done a fabulous job of taking the bottom-line, barest-form truths to help us fashion them into life. She utilizes her insightful humor to sift through Scripture's most diverse book, holds scripture up to the light, and finds inspirational reflections that bring clarity. I recommend this book, makes a great gift as well! Happy reading!

My thanks to the amazing crew at Thomas Nelson publishers for providing books both for readers and authors alike through their booksneeze website. God creates beautiful partnerships as His truth speaks loudly. Read on...

And then, there were 6

2010-03-14T18:59:00.004-04:00

Yep, our family of 5 has now grown to 6. We adpoted! A little boy - he weighs in at 13 lbs., big brown eyes, four legs, lots of fur, and answers to the name Wuzzby, well sometimes. Yep, it was the name he came with, and it just suits him quite well. He's just about the most adorable thing I've ever seen, yet if you would have asked me about becoming a dog owner Thursday night, I would have literally laughed outloud!

Here's what transpired... Aaron just happened to insist on helping out by picking Emma up from gymnastics. He just happened to get the wild idea to visit the Humane Society located right next door. He also just so happened to walk to the very last kennel to see the most adorable face, and simply fall hard. They returned home a bit late and Emma informed me, "Mom, we are late because_____" what I THOUGHT she would say was one word - traffic. I knew that an accident occurred on the freeway and assumed more cars would be en route. But no. The words she spoke were, "we were looking at dogs". Uhhhhhh?????

Aaron played it off pretty smooth, I must admit. He was matter of fact, objective, and even went on line to be able to answer all the questions he know I would be asking :) Strange thing... I had just been thinking about dogs this week. However, these were my thoughts - "wow, look at those piles of doggie poopie, (now visible after the melting snow), so glad we don't have that in our yard." "Spring cleaning isn't too bad this year, nice not to see dog hairs that seem to velcro themselves to the weirdest places." The Lord works in mysterious ways...

As I saw the look on my husband's face, and I heard the compassion in Emma's voice, I soon wondered if I'd even have the stamina to say no. Somehow I had the feeling that the Spirit was nudging me to let Aaron lead, to allow him this new adventure, and to even agree with my whole heart - looking at the sacrifices to come, and to have a perspective that the Lord might just have an ultimate plan for this animal in our life.

So, the kids and I prayed about it Friday morning. I agreed to meet Aaron at the Humane Society that afternoon. He was there right when they opened, had he not been, another couple would have adopted him, they arrived just after he did. Wubzzy had only been there 3 days. The reason he was there was because his previous family was alergic. He has already been spayed, recieved all his shots, ready to go! Needless to say, I arrived in the parking lot, uttered a prayer, something like, "Dear Lord, help me..." I stepped out of the car, shut the door, looked to my left, and there was Aaron rounding the corner. I glanced down, one look, and quickly looked away, "Dear Lord, there's no way we're leaving without him." He had my heart.

Life with Wubzzy has been... interesting. It's like parenting all over again :) We're figuring each other out, we're training, we're having fun. Overall, he's a fantastic puppy. Loves to follow us everywhere, slept all through the night without one whimper, doing well potty training, and even chooses to sleep in his open crate during the day. He's a blessing. He's uniting us as a family, I have a feeling there will there be many future lessons to come. As with so many lessons in life, it's all about obedience, especially when the future results are not yet known.

Thanks Lord for the opportunity to care for your creation. Thank you for guiding us as a family. Thanks for the sweet spirit of this dog that we prayed about. Thank you for an opportunity to be inconvenienced to realize just where my heart lies. Thank you for guiding my husband. Thank you for the healing effects obedience brings.

This is how God rolls...

2010-03-10T22:31:00.004-05:00

So.... I hurt my foot. Can't tell you how, but I can tell you it hurts. Last Friday, had a chance to go for a jog, feeling great (which is always a blessing), enjoying the weather, great tunes... and somewhere between mile 5 and 6, the throbbing began - left foot, right between my three middle toes. So what did I do? Tried to ignore it, perhaps it's a cramp, perhaps I tied my shoes too tight, oh well, I'm enjoying my mood. By the time I stopped, I a had to limp inside the house. The slightest bit of pressure and I was wincing in pain... strange.

Needless to say, I'm one who doesn't have time for pain. Who does, you say? No one, but the way this came about - no falling, tripping, or wrenching, my heart just knew that it came from God. Not as a punishment, yet there was something He needed to show me, and this was how He would draw my attention to it. As in life, it's one thing when your head knows, it's another thing to tell that to your heart and your feelings. I was bummed, a bit perplexed, and honestly just miffed. This type of injury meant one thing. Ice, ice, and more ice. Swelling was my indicator. And, the only way to ice, is to actually SIT to be able to put ice ON it.

Well okay, so be it. Kids and I enjoyed some cuddle time. Went to bed. Me and my thoughts. Would this injury take me "out of the game" for awhile, and how long is awhile? How long before I'm out of shape with my training? Will I be able to participate in the upcoming runs I have scheduled? What does this mean for my regular day, as in walking from one place to another around the house? Wow... some people have to deal with this daily. And come to think of it, some people may never have the ability to walk ever again this side of heaven. Perspective is always good to have.

Well, I awoke the next morning, hobbled to the sink, brushed my teeth, hobbled to the kids room, and realized that this sunny Saturday would not include my "normal" morning run. Something that been in my routine, every Saturday for the past 4 years. How do you react when something you've been doing for 4 years suddenly changes? It's a bit weird. Perhaps you find yourself asking, "What do I do now?" My answer - you simply do the next thing. The moment to moment. And then you take the next moment. And before I realized it, a beautiful day with my family transpired. This was God's plan for today, and it was perfect. Perfectly different, yet perfect.

Sunday, still hobbling. Monday, little less pain, a little more flexibility. Tuesday, Lord gave me the idea to go for a swim instead - perfect. Haven't done that in awhile, great exercise, less weight resistance on the foot. Wednesday, we got some more action once we got moving, I enjoyed a great walk with a friend. Before walking, I had a few moments before she arrived, decided to flip to Proverbs. I'm reading in Chapter 3, and my eyes fall upon this:

⁷ Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.

⁸ This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.

Of all the verses to read, and I just happen upon these :)

This is how God rolls. This is how the Holy Spirit glorifies Jesus Christ in moving your obedient, searching heart to a place where He brings understanding. This is how we know that we are loved with a never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love (from my favorite Children's Bible - The Jesus Storybook). He loves me so much that he wanted me to see just where my focus lies in this area of my life. What would happen if this was removed from my life, even for a short while? What will my children see? My husband? My friends? Dear ones, this same Lord has just as much love for you, today and forever. Is there something you are holding onto? Would it be okay to let it go? He has a promise to show you, a love to give you, a blessing to bestow. He knows.

My testimony is this - it's worth it. Everytime. Enjoy the weather!

My husband, my hero

2010-03-05T21:15:00.004-05:00

Today, my husband had to do the hardest thing any son is asked to do. He had to say good-bye to his Mom. Pat Conrad, wife, mother, grandmother, and daughter of the King filled her lungs one final time, and then became ushered into eternity with her Heavenly Father. She will be remembered for so many things, but for me, she will be the hero who raised the precious son given to her, only to release him into my arms as the love of my life, and the father of my children - Mom, may your legacy of love continue for generations to come. I love you with all my heart.

I don't think you're ever quite prepared for this moment. Afterall, we were never created to know death. Somehow, our feeble minds just can't wrap our hearts around the emptiness that exists just after the final good-bye. For Aaron's mom, she lived a life that included pain for quite some time. She suffered. She in now, no longer in pain - praise God! For Aaron, his family spent those last moments together. For Aaron, time was given for a sense of closure. For Aaron, he left that morning to board an airplane, but he was not alone.

As we sat together upon his return, sharing late into the night, several thoughts ran through my mind. First off, it never ceases to amaze me that God provides in ways that transcends earthly logic - a last minute flight just happened to be available, the children headed to school later than usual that morning, our scheduled community time just happened to be that evening, Aaron's work week was lighter than usual, the weather greeted both of us with warmth, and both of her sisters arrived after years of disconnect.

Secondly, I just sat and listened in awe of this man whom I am proud to call my husband. He spoke with such grace, such mercy, such strength that it could have only come from the Spirit within. Amongst difficult circumstances, he spoke words of hope, of peace, of honesty, and with integrity. Having the privilege of witnessing this amazing growth in the life of "my" man who not only seeks after the heart of God, but lives out a life of a love that comes from God himself, I stand in awe. To say I'm proud is an understatement, to be allowed the privilege of walking the road with my best friend is nothing more than a treasured gift, to be a support of any kind is nothing more than a mere honor. Aaron, I love you. I mourn with you, I rejoice with you, there is no where I rather be than home with you. I am the proud bearer of the Conrad name.

Dad, Tina, my heart is with you. There is much hope to bear, more days to share, and more race to run. Thank you for your love for Aaron. He is the man he is today because of you. I love you.

Something that God is passionate about...

2010-03-01T20:48:00.004-05:00

Precious faces aren't they. Precious children. As I sat and read through several blogs tonight, my heart is arrested. What came to mind when you read the words 'heart arrested'? Perhaps you recall a news clip, perhaps you recall a tragedy, perhaps you remember a moment. Did it stir within you a desire to help? Did you leave the moment with hope or despair?

Do me a favor. Click here to read my friend Renee's post. After you're finished, click here. Perhaps the Lord wants to share something with you that he is so passionate about. Perhaps this same passion resonates in your soul...

God is Real

2010-02-20T14:45:00.004-05:00

Ever ask yourself that question - Is God real? Does He truly exist? Do people concoct something that they wish to be true? Because I can't "see" him, how do I know I'm not just talking into the air?

All fair questions. If you were to ask Christians who've been walking this earth for many years, and they would be able to profess their true thoughts, I bet you they have asked, perhaps at times still do, throw out the wondering question. TO question, I believe is not wrong. It's WHAT we do, think, and chose in response to these questions that show us where our hearts lie, and as a result, demonstrate our level of independence or dependence.

In opening my heart to my Father this morning, I searched and listened, to respond in obedience as to if there was something He wanted me to work through today, in this case, work out by writing it down. Three words came to mind - God is real.

In reflecting further, these words were so poignant for me as to my "ponderings" on life and relationships recently. As I spent time with Him through reading, I came across 1 John 2: 16-17:

¹⁶For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. ¹⁷The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

You see, "things" in my relationships with friends, even my husband, haven't quite gone my way lately. The way I see things, I have deserved a whole lot more than I've received lately. I found myself asking, "When will it be my turn?" "Do they not see my needs right now?" "Do they really care?" If they did, they would....

"the cravings of a sinful man... boasting of what he has and does... comes NOT from the Father but from the world..."

The world? This was a question posed to me in my bible study. What is meant by the "world"? I believe numerous answers could be given. The one that hit me today - the who? The prince of this world. Satan himself (John 12:31).

Back to my previous thoughts and questions (cravings and boasting) - did they come from my Father or from the "world"? My logic, and my Truth, tells me they were NOT from my Father. So? I decided to bound up these thoughts, and cast them aside. Basically I said, "Stop it."

2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Instead I asked, "Lord, help me."

Are you wondering what happened? I was curious too. As I "watched" my thoughts,, my feelings, my countenance, it began to change. I CAN'T DO THAT. I've tried. HE replaced my frustration with peace, he replaced my anger with joy, he replaced my bitterness with love. He allowed me to move on. To wait, perhaps a conversation for another time. I didn't "fester" anymore, the run-away-bitter-train has gone. I can't explain it any other way, I'm limited, I'm a dumb sheep. I could not have mustered, strengthened, pulled-myself-up-from-my-bootstraps, as my Kentucky friend would tell me, all on my own. Tried that for years. Failed miserably. So, my answer today? Yes. He's more than real, He's more than ever-present, He's more than loving, He's more than sacrificing, He's more than my solid rock and foundation, He's more than my friend - He has the power to change my heart, affecting the lives around me, thus bringing me to a place I truly want to be - all because I asked. I admitted I had no idea what to do, what to say, how to handle my "uglies", and I wanted to seek His face. I'm not smart, just dependent. It still don't fully "get it", but I believe. You have the same choice.

Do you believe God is real? Are you willing to risk? It might just change your life today. It might bring you that ever-elucive peace? It did mine. And tomorrow, I'll have even more questions... and He'll be there.

love

2010-02-11T22:23:00.009-05:00

Love. A short, little, four-letter word. Yet, the thought of even attempting to unpack the depth of it's meaning, gives me a never-ending-road vision. A quick search reveals that the word "love" is used repeatedly in over 500 scripture verses. The definition of the word love itself is numerous and varied, again pointing to the complexity and the absurdity of the human race attempting to define it. We even have a special day of celebration in honor of love, though highly commercialized and "materialized", it's nationally recognized none the less.

In my humble and yet feeble attempt to add a few "cents" to the subject most written about, sung about, quoted, and even quantified, here's the question spurring my learning...

How does my Jesus teach me, show me, and command me to love my God and to love people?

I need look no further than Matthew 28:37-39:

Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'aThis is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'b

Love God. Love people.

In fact, of all the 613 commands written to us, these are the greatest.

If we take a look at Exodus 20, and read through the 10 commandments, we'll find that the first 5 are in regards to loving God, and the second 5 are in regards to loving people.

Let's take a look at Jesus' life in John Chapter 13. Here we find the Lord spending precious moments with his BFF's just prior to his "hour". We read an account of the purpose in his death - He chose to love and obey God at any cost. He chose to die because of his love for His people.

When Jesus sorrowfully spoke of His coming temporary separation from His own, he gave them a commandment that would become their greatest comfort while He was no longer visibly present. He commanded them to love one another and to show each other that love in the same way that He had shown them while He lived with them. He had comforted them by His love.

Though we do not see Jesus in the flesh as he disciples did, we can see and feel him in the love with which He loves us through one another.

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples."

Do "all men" know that I am a disciple?

Do I love when it's not convenient? When I don't feel like it? When it costs me (time/money)? When the world tells me I shouldn't (don't deserve it)? When I've been wronged?

In light of how my Jesus loves, could it be the least I can do? Can it simply be my reasonable service?

My bible study this week has challenged me with a statement - Rather than serving to prove our love to Christ, we serve in order to learn how to love like He did.

How will we serve today? The Lord prompted my heart just this morning. I had a choice. Speak out of "rightness", speak in love. Love wins every time.

In the quote seen in the picture above, I humbly suggest one little deduction. If God is love (1 John 4:8), and love is life, if you miss God, you miss life. (smile)

Have a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Love Your Heart

2010-02-09T15:37:00.005-05:00

Thanks to the kind and gracious hard-working-hearts at Thomas Nelson Publishers, I was able to curl up with my daughter - a warm welcome after playing hard in the snow for over 2 hours - and delight together reading this precious new storybook (lovingly delivered by our faithful mail carrier Pam today.)

Country music singers and song writers, Tim McGraw and Tom Douglass have teamed together, alongside illustrator Abigail Marble, to bring to their readers a heartwarming father/daughter relationship as told through a precious character named Katie.

Throughout the pages, Katie's boisterous spirit sparkles and bounces as we read of Dad's proud responses to his little girl's selfless act of kindness. This story reminds us that the very best of you lies lies not in what you can do, but in who you are.

I also enjoyed reading the forward written by Faith Hill and their three uniquely gifted daughters, Gracie, Maggie, and Audrey. I highly recommend this book, again, great gift idea to add to your family library.

To those of you enjoying/enduring the snow, I'm praying for you. May the Lord grant you safety, and may we be able to pause from the "work" of shoveling to enjoy making snow angels once again. Have a wonderful week!

Mom's Bible

2010-02-03T10:47:00.006-05:00

It's that time again...

Book report, I mean book "review".

Let me just tell you how humbling it is to put forth a few words, an opinion, in regards to not only the inspiration of God through an author, but to pitifully offer my view on the living word of God himself. So instead of thinking on the later, I'll choose the former.

In my opinion, this is a great compilation. Throughout this New Century Version Bible, there are some remarkable insights, notes, and history that greatly enhance the readers reflection with corresponding passages. Woven throughout the scriptures, you'll also find excerpts on God's character, ways of "passing it on", and topics entitled, 'walking in...'

The contributors include, Bobbie Wolegemuth, Missy Wolgemuth Schrader, Regina Sentell, Jennifer Case Cortez, and Robert Wolgemuth. Bobbie is an author, artist, and musician who loves being a wife, mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother. She has a background in elementary education and music, and loves to bring spiritual truths to life in creative ways. Her daughter, Missy, has also taught elementary and middle school and is currently the Family Life Director for the Christan school where her children attend. Regina is a board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner, wife, mother, grandmother, speaker, teacher, and mentor. Jennifer is a wife, mother and editor for Wolgemith & Associates, Inc. Dr. Robert Wolgemuth, husband and father, is a speaker and best-selling author of over 20 books.

In addition to the insights woven throughout the scriptures, the topic index towards the back are very helpful. One such index features the moms in the bible. I enjoyed reading about beloved figures as the authors wrote about aspects of their life stories in such a relateable way. There is also a section entitled 'Answers to Questions Kids Ask"' - very valuable. After each question, verses are sited as well as commentary to address each question - great to use with adults and kids alike!

The version I have is hard back, very durable. This could be a great gift idea for any mother, or parent for that matter. I highly recommend it!

Thanks for indulging my quick 2 cents. From one wanna-be-book-worm, sometimes half the battle is simply knowing what's available and how to get your hands on it. Lots to digest, may the Lord create a connection for you today. May you find yourself with the desire to follow through. Have a great day in Him!

The Be-atitudes

2010-01-31T19:14:00.005-05:00

If I posed this question to you, I wonder what you would answer....

What makes a Christ-ian different from one who doesn't believe in Christ as their Lord and Savior? And, if you call yourself a Christian, would a stranger know?

If there is one unifying factor that we all have as human beings, what would that be? What do we all innately possess that doesn't need to be taught?

Well, this morning, we took a look at a passage in Matthew 5, called the Beatitudes. I say we because in our "family" gatherings, it's an atmosphere in which we all convene, interact, and share, seeking our Father's perspective on how to do this "thing" called life. Not sure about you, but I find Jesus' words for me to be counter-cultural. Our shepherd and teacher led us in such a way as to list out these differences.

Jesus says to be...

poor in spirit, humble
to mourn, feel sorrow
to be meek
to hunger and thirst for righteousness
to me merciful, helpers
pure in heart, holy
peacemakers, healers
to be persecuted, harassed

World says to be...

proud, self-confident
never suffer, sorrow
powerful
need nothing
show no mercy
do whatever
winners
persecute other

Jesus came and turned everything upside down.

The world says...

believe in yourself
strive to be #1
winning is everything
don't get mad, get even
assert yourselves
get ahead
most toys wins

Jesus says...

Believe in me
The last shall be first, and the first shall be last
He who loves life will lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake will find it
Love your enemies
Deny yourself
Give yourself away
If you gain the whole world and lose your soul, you have nothing

As my pastor reminded me this morning, pondering this will expose how much I fall short of God's standard for living right. This reminds me of my absolute necessity for my daily dependence on Him. You see, in order for me to "be", it all comes down to the heart of the matter, the driving force behind my decisions and actions - my heart. My heart reveals my attitude, and boy, mine can be pretty down-right self-centered when it comes down to it. I will fail without the perspective of the perfect one.

Pastor, thank you for the guidance. I look forward to drawing closer to my best friend both in knowledege and in heart.

Do you have a church family? What is holding you back?

Quiet waters

2010-01-21T23:05:00.002-05:00

"He leads me beside quiet waters..."

Ahhhhh, seems surreal doesn't it.

Just something about water...

For a moment, seems great to escape to a peaceful, tranquil place. Especially if someone can lead me there, I don't even have to plan it - bonus!

If there's one aspect of life that running has taught me - without water to replenish, the body cannot sustain a great amount of exertion. In fact, without water, life ends.

In a similar capacity, the human soul has a need for the water of the Spirit. God alone knows where the still, quiet, deep, clean, pure water is to be found that can satisfy His sheep and keep them fit.

W. Phillip Keller, once a shepherd himself, describes a time wen he watched native herds in Africa being led into enormous caverns cut from sandstone formation along the sandy rivers. They were like great rooms chiseled out of rocks with ramps running down to the water trough at the bottom. The herds and flocks were led down into these deep cisterns where cool, clear, clean water awaited them.

I believe that in the Christian life the same applies. Many of the places we may be led into will appear to us as dark, deep, dangerous, and somewhat disagreeable. We must remember that He is there with us in it, very much at work in the situation. It is His energy, effort, and strength expended on my behalf that even in in this deep, dark place produce amazing blessings. It it here I discover only He can really satisfy me. I discover I am the object of His special care and attention. He brings purpose, meaning and direction. I find life-giving, live-quenching, life-satisfying water. Jesus, the living water.

Have you taken a sip today?

Video Review

2010-01-20T22:49:00.003-05:00

Little Brynn wasn't feelin so hot today, so she and I sat down this morning and just chilled. There is something so peaceful about cuddling with a little one. I need to remember to do this more often :) As we discussed our video options, she mentioned to me that she wanted to watch the ant with the dress. Ummmm (as I scanned my "database" as to what she might be eluding too), I came up with nothin.

"What else happened in the movie honey?"

"The one with the fruit Olympics, and the strong ant, and the other ants who dance with a dress on and play strange music."

"Ummmm..."

"Daddy's friend Mom, you know, Max Cucado."

"Ohhhhhh." Too funny.

So we snuggled and watched this creative tale of an ant named Antonio. Here's my humble review. Antonio is a strong ant, one that wins competitions, all to the chagrin of his caterpillar competitor by the name of Hermie. Antonio also leads his Army Ants in defending the garden from, say, Big Bully Croaker. But when some foreign ants move into the garden, their strange ways challenge Antonio to use something other than physical strength and military experience to solve a problem. Featuring Tim Conway as Hermie and special guest-star Fred Willard ("Wall-E", "Kim Possible", "Chicken Little", etc), I found myself smiling in adoration of these adorable characters. The DVD also includes the a the cartoon short "Caterpilla" (a spoof of Cinderella). The lesson is based on Luke 10:27 "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." (ICB) and discusses just how difficult it can be to love those who just seem to be an annoyance.

This DVD can be enjoyed by young and old alike. The authors portray a great model of the struggle that we face in hearing and knowing about choices God wants us to make, and just how difficult it can be to obey when it's not easy. The consequences of our choices will determine the outcome of our relationships. Great message to discuss with children and adults alike.

Have a great day! And while you're at it, show a neighbor some love!

A Run in the Sun

2010-01-19T19:39:00.010-05:00

"Blue skies, shining on me, nothin but blue skies, do I see..." Yep, blue skies, palm trees, and mountains, doesn't get much better. What a blessing to share the weekend with my best friend and the fabulous Plant family who graciously welcomed us to the state of Arizona! Lots of memories, smooth travel, amazing sites, we serve a gracious God!
Here's a few moments that marked this race:

1. Watching ASU swimmers get ready for an outdoor meet at 6:45 am. - way cool!

2. People watching as we waited in the downtown park - 2 Elvises, 1 banana-man, several tu-tu skirts, 1 man wearing an inflatable turkey outfit, yes runners are unique.

3. John McCain gave us the thumbs up as we crossed the "starting line".

4. Around mile 1, Aaron says, "Wanna swing through McDonalds?"

5. Mile 2, a woman held a dry-erase board that said, "Run fast while you can still feel your legs!"

6. Crowded streets as we jumped up on the sidewalk a few times.

7. Hitting a fast pace at mile 4, not quite seeing that number again the rest of the race :)

8. A band played for us at every mile. One couple pulled off and danced together, then ran ahead of us each time.

9. Running through a "Rock Star" tunnel, over bridges, down the strip, all the while viewing mountains straight ahead.

10. Holding hands with my life-partner as we were able to cross-yet another finish line, thankful for the son-shine.

As we reminisced about memories on our flight home, we glanced out our window as we neared Columbus, viewing the "sea of clouds" from above. It was as if we were viewing a sunset, and what a marvelous site it was, from above the clouds, there was no darkness. In thinking of the moments that would soon pass, as we would be traveling underneath the clouds and darkness would come, the memories of the light still shone bright, will we chose to remember? We saw evidence, it is there. Soon too, Columbus will experience the promise of spring, for now, we wait.

As my wise husband shared with me this evening, life brings with it many choices. How we view life, how we choose to "see" it will determine the attitude of the run, the journey, the course. Will we choose to see the rocks, the gravel, the cracks on the ground? Will we choose to focus on a "time" and miss the sights? Will we stop for a moment and dance? This race left me with a choice around mile 5. My mind wanted to reach a goal my body just could not achieve that day. Would I push forward in determination, would I be able to sacrifice my "goal" to allow the enjoyment of the sight and sounds to be caught? What was more important today?

As in life, numbers will be forgotten, metals will rot away, but the sight of the colors of earth, the sound of echoing cheers, and the feel of my husband's hand in mine will last for eternity. Thank you God for helping me to "see".... I love you Aaron.

He makes me lie down in green pastures

2010-01-14T21:58:00.002-05:00

Ever have the experience of a child returning home from school or an event, and somehow you just know that there is not enough air in the house to support the flow of words and excitement that exudes from every pore! They use words, and words, and expressions, and repeated words, and then, and then, and then... Okay, that's how I feel. So, with an intent and purpose not to simply spew all this information I'm soaking up, may I simply (and prayfully, humbly), share about my favorite verse, found in Psalms 23:2

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

Don't know about you, but someone needs to make me lie down, and boy do I need it.

BUT, before we go there, let's take a quick look at the questions I proposed last post, looking at John, Chapter 10:

1. What are some things a good shepherd does for his sheep?

He knows who are His own sheep (verse 14)
His own sheep know Him as their shepherd (verse 14)
The good shepherd knows God perfectly (verse 15)
The good shepherd dies for his sheep (verse 15)
The good shepherd seeks Gentile sheep also (verse 16)
The good shepherd is loved by His Father (verse 17)
The good shepherd always had the Cross and the Resurrection in mind (verse 17)
The good shepherd obeyed His Father's command (verse 18)
The good shepherd had unique power over death (verse 18)

2. What do false shepherd do?

They refused to enter the prescribed way (verse 1)
The sheep would not follow them but fled from them (verse 5)
They are but thieves and robbers who tried to steal sheep and hurt them (verse 1)

3. What are some ways to recognize "Jesus' own sheep", and what does Jesus do for them?

Jesus gives promises to those who enter by Him (the gate) , verses 9-10
A. They will be saved (delivered from an evil power)
B. They will find security - to move in and out of "pastures" unhindered, free and safe
C. They will find satisfaction, a meaning to life. To be in Christ is to find"pasture" emotionally, intellectually, vocationally, and even physically.

Good brain food ey? Filling the mind and filling the soul, that's some good green fields!

Okay, what I learned from author and former shepherd ,W. Phillip Keller, this evening is that it is almost impossible for sheep to be made to lie down unless four requirements are met:

1. Unless they are free of all fear
2. Unless they are free from friction with others of their kind
3. Unless they are free from pests or parasites
4. They must be free from hunger

This unique sense of freedom from fear, tension, aggravation, and hunger can only be provided from the sheepman himself. Ironically, we as people aren't much different. How many of us lay awake at night because of fear? How do we react to others who simply rub us wrong? What are the irritants in our lives that keep us restless? Are we feeding ourselves the right "food" that only satisfies our hunger? Have we allowed our sheepman presence to enter our lives, have we vocalized our fears, panic, and terror of the unknown for His presence to dispel?

May I suggest that when our eyes are on our Master they are not on my fear or on those around me. This is a place of peace. Just as a shepherd applies a healing, soothing, effective antidote to a particular problem, do I allow my Shepherd to bring quietness, serenity, strength, and calmness in the face of frustrations and futility? Strange thing is, when I do, I become aware of His dealing in a way I had not anticipated. And because of the assurance that He has become active on my behalf, there steals over me a sense of quiet contentment. I am then able to lie down in peace and rest. All because of what He does. It's amazing...

So today, will you allow your Shepherd to clear the life of rocks of stony unbelief? Will you allow Him to tear out roots of bitterness? He attempts to break up the hard, proud heart that is set like sun-dried clay. He sows the seed of His own precious Word, which, if given half a chance to grow, will produce rich crops of contentment and peace. He waters it with dews and rain of His own presence by the Holy Spirit. He tends and cares and cultivates life, longing to see it become rich and green and productive. It is all indicative of the unrelenting energy of an owner who wishes to see his sheep satisfied and well fed. He loves me. He sent His Son for me. The Good Shepherd lays down His life for His sheep. That includes me... and you.

Tune in next time as He "leads us beside quiet waters"...

Much to learn about this as Aaron and I have a chance to run in the dry (and warm!) lands of Phoenix this weekend! The adventure continues...

Baaaaaa...

2010-01-13T15:40:00.004-05:00

Feeling a little sheep-ish today? This animal is most known for being... dumb, yep pretty downright dense. Only my Jesus can direct my attention to this particular creature to open my eyes to revelations of all sorts. Will you join me in this adventure?

The kids and I are taking a look John Chapter 10. Jesus shares with us a parable that is shock full of good stuff. Do me a favor and take a commercial break from American Idol tonight and read these verses. I believe the Lord is directing me to share some insights and ask some questions to get us to reflect on our Good Shepherd in perhaps some new ways. We're also going to be taking a look at Psalm 23 as well. Here we find David doing a little bragging, one sheep to another, about his marvelous Shepherd.

Here's a few questions to get ya ponderin after reading:

1. What are some things a good shepherd does for his sheep?
2. What do false shepherds do? (read also Ezekiel 34)
3. What are some ways to recognize "Jesus' own sheep", and what does Jess do for them?

If you're one that also like "extra credit" (wink, wink). I highly recommend the book, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, written by W. Phillip Keller, a former shepherd himself. Go to your local library's' site and reserve it, then you could read it for free. Really, I rarely read books more than once, and I stayed up extra late last night because I was just eating up these beautifully written, deeply insightful words.

Throw away your excuses, stop those rolling eyeballs, and get ready to grow! It'll be fun! Baaaa-baaa for now (groan, I know.)

Got plans today?

2010-01-11T21:21:00.005-05:00

I just love this question. If you've ever been the recipient of this question, you know the drill. What is the usual response? For me.... pause. I ponder, what will follow my response? Is it a request for me to "do a favor" if I happen to have an open slot, is it an invitation to join a fun activity, or is it perhaps a "feeler" for a long sit-down listening session? Either way, our minds tend to prepare for a win-win situation. This opens up a chance for us to suggest that indeed we are busy, but perhaps could be flexible enough to change if the outcome is more appealing. It's where the honesty-rubber meets the road.

So what "plans" can we count on everyday? What comes to mind when you first wake up in the morning? Besides, uggggg, it's morning, do you think about what day it is, what's on the agenda, what needs to be accomplished, what can be put off till tomorrow? Do we wake up to another day of the rat race, or do we perhaps anticipate the possibilities of the unknown? If you had asked me this question just a few short years ago, the rat race was my life, all I knew. It was a lifestyle that I utterly grew dependent on, one that drained me of energy, passion, and meaning. Oh there were days where everything seemed to fall in place, everything felt right, felt good. And then the next day would arrive, and something I hadn't planned for would throw me off, even threaten my demise. It was all I knew... until Christ.

Most morning now don't bring the familiar dread, most mornings I find myself greeting the Lord, preparing my heart to fall in step with my best friend. Most days bring surprises, and instead of it threatening my sanity, it brings me surprising joy. A call, a visit, an email, a lunch, a just-enough-time-slot to complete a task I thought wouldn't be completed. And not only a daily plan, but a life purpose.

The Great Commission

¹⁶Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. ¹⁷When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. ¹⁸Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in^a]">[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Not sure about you, but I can relate to the "some doubted" part. Though I must admit that I can handle a list of 2. Jesus commands that I go. Not expect people to come, but in fact, to go. Secondly, that I teach "them" to obey everything. Thanks to Pastor Denny for a passionate message given on Sunday, the Lord provided a huge confirmation for me. You see, just Saturday night, before falling asleep, I felt I needed to get a few things straight with my Jesus. I felt an urgency to recommit my all to Him. To commit my time, my energy, and my plans to Him, whatever that looks like. If my sole purpose for existing in this time of my life to "train up my children in the way they should go," then I want to give it my all. It is enough, it is important. We are to "go" and we are to teach to obey, it is a mighty purpose. The next time Satan, or any other worldly message wants to tell me any different, I come prepared for battle, armed with the truth.

Let me tell you these words are being written by a simple girl who was once career-driven, success-driven, program-driven, do-it-all, be-it-all, have-it-all, and look-good through it all. And then Christ... The apostle Paul said it best,

Philippians 3:7-9

⁷But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

Got any plans for today?

Book Report

2010-01-06T23:00:00.004-05:00

Don't know about you, but do these two words, placed side-by-side, send shivers down your spine and dredge up grade-school memories that leave you with an urgent desire to run from the room? Okay, so maybe I'm a bit squeamish when it comes to hearing the words - book report - so instead I'll use a more grown up word - book review. Ah, much better.

All kidding aside, my husband handed me a book not too long ago with a request - to read it and write a review. Okay. What's the book? "Not sure, " he says, "something girly." Well, as the saying goes, one can't always judge a book from it's cover. In my opinion, this story is both girls and man-ly. Multi-platinum recording artist Sara Evans writes a beautiful and captivating fictional story, along with Rachel Hauck, in her debut novel, The Sweet By and By.

This is the life story of a character named Jade. Jade is a girl who is living her life forward in anticipation of her upcoming wedding. As she and her fiance pledge over and over to leave their past in the past, Jade's past comes face to face with her present. How does she react when the pain of long ago, when the skeletons locked away are screaming to be let out? How would you react? I do believe that many readers will become caught up in reflecting on their own wounds and scars of the past. What do we do when pain, disappointment, hurt, rejection, and even abandonment have entered our lives? Do we lick our wounds and move on? Do we lash out in anger and harbor bitterness? Do we build a wall and camp out in the land of that-will-never-happen-to-me again? Do we cry out in desperation, longing for someone to rescue us? What if I told you the rescuer has been there all along?

This story is simply captivating. I somehow felt transported into the story as if the scenes were playing out with me as a part of them. In reading Jade's thoughts and "watching" her bravely rise in the the midst of life-altering circumstances, the reader somehow rises along with her. Though one's own life may involve different variables, the same feelings and thoughts ring true. How do you not only survive life, but endure hardship to a point where you realize nothing you've been given is deserved? Evans' displays a magnificent ability to bring the reader into the story as Jade's view of God emerges from one of borrowed faith to one of saving grace. Evans doesn't end the story on a happily-ever-after-note, yet one filled with hope, redemption, and restoration as a new chapter in Jade's life is being written. A chapter that includes the freedom of forgiveness.

I highly recommend this book, it's definitely a fast read. Thanks to the wonderful people at Thomas Nelson, I would gladly lend this to you if you so feel inclined. Happy New Year! May you continue to have thoughts of renewal and a sense of urgency to use each day for Him.

Always something to learn...

2010-01-02T14:00:00.005-05:00

A strange picture to include today, I know. Maybe it's my active imagination as I ran in 19 degree weather this morning. The weather told me it feels like 5 with the wind chill, yeah....

The other reason I chose this picture has to do with something we read during Jesus time this morning. Currently we are looking at the life of Jesus through the Gospels. We looked at Mark 1 today and read about the baptism of Jesus. It always takes me "to another place" in my mind when I read about the heavens being torn open and the Lord himself speaking words over His precious son, yet what struck me today were the words my eyes fell upon directly following this event.

Mark 1:9-14

The Baptism and Temptation of Jesus

⁹At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. ¹⁰As Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. ¹¹And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased."

¹²At once the Spirit sent him out into the desert, ¹³and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.

Did you catch that? Here we read about the most blessed event, our Jesus being recognized for his Holy Deity, a spectacle to behold, a "mountain-top experience", if you will, and directly following this glorious occurrence, the Spirit sends Jesus into the desert. Did you catch that word - sends. It was in the plan. And it wasn't a quick one day plan. And it wasn't to a most glorious place. In fact, this next step of the plan took 40 days, and it was a dry, parched, wind-blown place and time. Because not only was it a long enduring time, in a miserable place, but He was tempted by Satan himself. Are you nodding your head in understanding? Can you recall a time in your life where He took you from the mountaintop directly to the valley? Perhaps you are currently there.

I apologize that this is not a "hearts-n-stars" post, yet it's real. I didn't orchestrate it, God did, and it simply amazes me. Reading this once again, prepares me. For in this world, we will have trouble, yet my Jesus tells me not to fear in my Bible 365 times. Sorry, but I believe this number is no coincidence. Let's go back and read the last sentence of verse 12. Did you catch it?

Yep, there are wild animals, but what else are there? Angels attended. Praise you Jesus. May you set your minds to some new things this year. May we set our minds on Him. I've once again decided to try and read the Bible through the year. I'm greatly anticipating all I have to learn from my Lord. What about you? There are some great resources to help you in your endeavor if you are interested as well. Check out Wendy Pope's site. She's hosting an on-line group format through her blog to dig deeper together as we learn from one another's Spirit-led insights. Happy New Year!

Grateful

2009-12-24T09:25:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning, with a strange sensation. Ever have one of those nights experiencing weird dreams? I seem to be experiencing several lately, yet last night's dream was very unique. I don't recall too many details since that first awakened moment, but I do remember watching people. I remember sensing the moment as one of people partaking in a religious ceremony of some sorts. I can tell you about the empty, blank looks on the faces of each person. I watched as they went through the motions of this ceremony of sorts, and left with that same hollow look. People kept entering and leaving, all with lifeless body language. It was at that moment I awoke and my mind's thoughts went right to Jesus, "I am so grateful to have you Jesus." My emotions were so stirred that I experienced tears. Tears that could only express what my words could not. No coincidence it's Christmas Eve morning. Thank you Jesus for some precious moments this morning before my mind was even fully awake. You complete me.

After more reflection, I could have a gratitude list a mile long this morning, but of all the things to list today, I am most grateful to hear the voices of two sweet girls and one grown up man coming from the basement. They are interacting while they play "restaurant". The voices belong to our daughters and their Papa. Aaron's parents arrived from Houston last night, and we couldn't be more grateful. Family, as imperfect as we all are, somehow means just that much more on Christmas.

Jesus, I do want to thank you for one other moment I just experienced today. As cinnimon rolls were baking in the oven, I laced up my shoes to spend a few more moments with you. As my legs were burning, yet my soul filled with joy, I am overwhelmed with answered prayer. Just as I uttered my confession to you as I made my bed, asking to guard my heart, my words, and my attitude, you spoke forth in kindness to my husband and encouragement in a disappointing situation.

Lord, you fill me completely, and that is where I want to reside. My physical limitations pulled me off course yesterday, yet you actualy welcome my thoughts and allow me to leave them with you. As a result, my heart is open and ready to hear from you, walk with you, and even run with you as my flesh wants what it wants. As the train was passing on the tracks this morning, I anticipated waiting for it to leave, stopping my run, yet my body kept moving forward at a quick pace. I remember uttering, "Lord I trust in your plan," and I watched as I approached it, closer and closer - 8 yards, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, train passes, 2 arms go up, 1, and through I go never needing to break my stride. THAT is all you Lord. I see you all around. I am forever, eternally grateful.

A desire to experience Him

2009-12-21T22:27:00.005-05:00

Lately, I've found myself nearing the end of the evening, yet anticipating something... time. Time spent with my Jesus. I look forward to curling up with Him, reading from my current location, the book of John, praying, journaling, and/or picking up a book (or two) from an ongoing stack that's accumulating next to my "Jesus time" chair. Through the course of our "we-thought-we-would-be-moving, move", some much needed de-cluttering/re-organizing took place, and I envisioned a little nook of sorts where I could gather my materials and thoughts for those sit-down moments with Him. Do you have a designated area? It's made a world of difference for me, a place I pass several times as day. It's a daily reminder.

Okay, least you think I have it all together, I don't. If I have at any time portrayed the notion that every day is a "running holiday" in the Conrad home, I do apologize. My heart's desire is to simply share a few ideas/thoughts that the Lord has guided me to, and to hopefully encourage you that if this ordinary sinner can overcome, learn, and grow, you can too! My point tonight is this - to simply pass on a thought that, to me, is SO simple, yet often times overlooked - how we "feel" leads our daily decisions. But where do these fleeting feeling lead?

In her book, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl, Lysa Terkeurst writes, "When I process life through my feelings, I am left deceived and disillusioned. When I process life through God's truth, I am divinely comforted by His love and made confident in His calling on my life." Again, such a great reminder that I need to make an intentional choice with my head, knowing that my heart will eventually follow. Just as in running, there is a choice. Some days my runs are easier, but never are they effortless. Each mile - each and every step - is a choice. In order to sustain this choice, my physical body needs food for energy and life. To sustain my soul, I need time with the Lord for sustenance as well.

We have a heart cry that only Jesus can satisfy. "God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved," (Colossians 3:12) "...you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world" (John 15:19). Noticed. Picked for a specific reason - a specific purpose. Treasured. Loved. If we attempt to fill this need from the world, we will be disappointed every time. If I hold out a cup to my husband, to my children, to my family, to my friends, and plead for them to fill me up, I'll find myself going back for more each and every time. Why? We're all human, we all sin, we all mess up, we all "don't see it"; we were made to worship our Creator, not His creations.

Lysa sums it up so well,

Becoming more than a good Bible study girl means never settling for needing to feel our way to God or to limit our experiences of Him to those few minutes we call our quiet time. It's being able to sit in the noise of the arena of life with every worldly distraction imaginable bombarding you and suddenly thinking of Him - talking with Him, smiling with Him, and realizing that every longing you've ever had in life to be more that just the girl in row 116, section R, seat 24 is already filled. By Him. The One who chooses you.

My favorite question for my youngest during the day is, "Do you know that Mommy loves you?" She'll usually pause, smirk, and say, "Yes." Not two seconds later, I'll repeat the question, "Brynn, do you know that Mommy loves you?" A bit bigger smirk, and the response, "Yes." Depending on the moment, I may repeat it again. My point - I never want her to forget, or worse yet, doubt. I want my children to know that Mommy loves them, no matter what.

Do you know that Jesus loves you? Do you know that Jesus loves you? Do you know that Jesus loves you?

What is your excuse?

2009-12-19T16:47:00.003-05:00

Today was one of those mornings. As I rose from bed at 6:30 am, on a Saturday, my thoughts went something like this, "You are crazy. Who would choose to be doing this, when it looks like that outside?" My body responded to this thought by simply moving forward. I got dressed, stretched, laced up my shoes, and headed out the door. What in your life has become part of your life by simple routine? Perhaps your body screams for more sleep and a warm bed, but your rational, and perhaps, determined thoughts, convince you otherwise? For many of us, when it comes to taking care of our bodies, perhaps in the area of exercise, we find ourselves easily swayed to follow the excuses our minds convince us of. At what point is it the "right" time? Dare I say that time may be today?

My lesson for today - my loss is His gain. If I look at what my loss might have been this morning (loss of sleep, ease of any pain, my 'right' to skip a training day because I feel like it), it seems like a minute sacrifice as to what I gained, or became blessed with. The apostle Paul said it best,

Philippians 3:8
What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.

For me, I have pledged to be faithful in this way, to commit to Him my obedience in "training" to run the race for Him. For me, this means for the long-haul. Until otherwise notified, I will run for him. The blessings and benefits from this are simply too long to list. What was "fresh" to be this morning, was simply the joy of running. I haven't 'felt' this for a few weeks, so I appreciated several aspects of this. It confirmed again the simple awe of being able to run, to see his creation in such a fresh way as the trees donned a white coat and snowflakes fell on my lashes, I was able to complete the daunting task of finishing an 11 mile run in the darkness of the morning, and I ran with no pain. I returned full of joy, patience, and grace that only comes from Him ready to tackle the day, even a morning full of cookie baking.

What is the ultimate privilege here? To simply be a servant of His. My family and I have experienced the amazing privilege of serving though a ministry called The Manger this week. This ministry gave us the opportunity, as a family, to be the hands of feet of Christ, an outward extension of Him as we greeted, shopped with, wrapped presents, and prayed with beautiful families experiencing a time a financial strain. Hearts were opened, lives were changed this week as they welcomed Christ into their broken hearts. There were many excuses not to go, several other 'good' activities could have replaced our time at the Manger. Not that we have it all figured it out, or can perfectly discern God's best in all situations, but we have readied our hearts to be flexible and obedient to His plan. The results? We left more blessed than any blessing we could have given. When asked at the dinner table if they wanted to serve again for the third time this past week, the kids spoke was a unanimous "yes". I cringe to think about the possibility that we could have missed out.

In looking at my Bible Study questions earlier, these passages simply touched a new place in my heart, affirming and confirming his personal touch today in "that God works all things for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

2 Corinthians 1:4-6

⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. ⁵For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. ⁶If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 12:9

⁹But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

What is your excuse today? Who's voice are you listening to? What might you be missing out on? Sometimes it requires us to simply do the next thing. Perhaps it might take one simple act. Will you tie up your laces today?

A morning in Charlotte...

2009-12-14T15:31:00.005-05:00

The graph you see above? As labeled, this is an elevation map. Aaron and I arrived at the Convention Center in Charlotte, NC last Friday night, preparing to pick up our race packets for the half-marathon race and immediately saw a T-shirt with this picture and this caption - FLAT IS FOR SISSIES. Enough said.

Yep, we're taking a whirl-wind tour of sorts - 5 races in 6 months. Some have asked me how I talked my husband into this, and I simply say, "On the contrary, it's the other way around." I am SO proud of Aaron, so thankful that the Lord has allowed us to travel this journey together, and has even brought about one of my heart's desires - to travel and "see", and that we are. Next month we fly to Phoenix, April we'll be in Nashville, May we land at the Indy 500 track, and perhaps even a re-show here in Columbus. As with anything else the Lord calls you to follow and obey, he provides it all. This would not be possible without the amazing hearts of our parents, friends, and even our live-in "teenager". I can't help but think that you might be wondering about a God-sized task in your own life. Take it from one who has a tendency to doubt and fear - the journey is completely worth it. It takes risk to trust, but the freedom that comes in knowing that the Lord's plan wins every time keeps me coming back for more - every time.

Memories of the race:

1. Waking up at 5:30 am, excited in anticipation of what the Lord had in store (no, I usually don't wake up at 5:30, let alone be excited about it.)

2. When packing, high priority - shoes, IPOD; no priority - ALL my bathrooms items. Luckily, it was a pony tail occasion and no make-up required.

3. Waiting in a warm hotel lobby, talking "race memories" with other fellow crazies before race time.

4. People - standing next to "Santa" pre-race time, getting passed by not 1, not 2, but 3 elves complete with jingle bells, a dog that barked from his porch in support, a man that yelled to the crowd, "Hey, my name is Joe, cheer for me!"

5. Signs - Breathe (I know I saw this same sign twice, just when I needed it), God 'heart' you (gave me goose bumps), a runner's shirt read, "Cheer for me, I'm getting married today."

6. I remember being separated from Aaron at a water stop, surrounded by people, and feeling as though a large part of me was missing.

7. Enjoying the downhills, preparing for the uphills.

8. Counting down the miles one by one, exciting to be nearing the finish, yet sad that it had come and gone so quickly.

9. Remembering the feeling of Aaron's hand in mine as we crossed the finish, blessed with an amazing time - 1:53.

Lord, I remember feeling disappointed at the start of the race. My body was feeling weak. I really wanted to be strong. Yet, Lord I remember telling you that I trusted in your plan for today. If this was your plan, I say again, I trust you. For I am learning, again, that in my weakness you are strong. I will take joy in this race today, thankful for the sheer ability to complete it. It's by no coincidence that I wore a shirt that stated, "I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) I love you Jesus.

The Flying Feather

2009-11-27T08:45:00.003-05:00

Another fabulous morning, another fabulous run. This year, we had the extreme pleasure of ropin some friends in to join us for their "first-ever" race. Friends Richard and Heidi came over bright and early, bringing along their teenager who so kindly hung out with the kids this morning. Our guest from Estonia joined us as well, calling family back home to share a play-by-play. We also met another friend there who also had invited some friends, some co-workers to join in a run before the turkey! I just love reflecting on God's ultimate plan in who He brings into our lives along life's journey. My favorite line of the morning was spoken by Richard after we completed the race and began walking back - Let's do that again! Another one catches the craziness!

I have so many things to be thankful for today, so here are just a few:

1. To share this journey with my best friend and life partner - love you Aaron!
2. To actually experience the blessing of physical strength brought about by His training and faithfulness to endure.
3. The opportunity to return home to warmth, food, and celebration with friends, old and new.
4. That my Lord has given me the ultimate gift in his son Jesus Christ, my Savior, the one who saves me from myself and my sin, and loves me enough to give me an eternal home with Him.
5. The privilege, responsibility, and command to share the good news of this gift with others.

Lord, you never cease to amaze me. In simply following Aaron's lead in choosing to wear a simple t-shirt, you allowed an opportunity to be available to a woman and her husband to approach us about a church home, your church home. What an honor to serve you today in such a seemly small way, yet perhaps a life-changing way for a family. Thank you for reminding me that you just ask us to come to you, to use what we have (be it 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread), and you alone take that and multiply it for your kingdom. Lord, today I chose in gratitude and thankfulness to see all that I "have" as a gift from you. I am one blessed girl. Happy Thanksgiving!

Comedy of Errors

2009-11-24T00:25:00.005-05:00

Aaron and I set out for a “long” run this past Saturday. We locked and load our i-pods for 12 miles, geared up, and hit the streets to a bright blue sky, and crisp cool air. Aaron has been favoring his ankle, but with some new kicks, he’s ready to go. We somewhat cruised the first few, then it hit us. He called it the running wounded. Not sure what’s up with my hips lately, but they’re feeling every single stretch of the stride and wanting to hold back. Somehow the fight to endure wins over, and you simply keep moving. We stopped for a short rest break, check my phone, removed my jacket, and forward we pressed on.

I remember running by the same group of 3 older gentlemen, in a sign of comradery, we gave the patented wave-and nod-fly-by. We rounded the corner onto Avery, and somehow I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it. My energy level dropped significantly. Aaron’s phrase - the wheels were coming off. Though slower, my mind was at peace with simply the ability to finish. “Two more lefts,” Aaron said, and I set my sites. As we ran the upward climb on Cemetery, we reached a section of sidewalk where tree roots have won the battle over the cement blocks. My eyes were not watchful, and before I could blink, I was groaning at the thought I was soon to hit the pavement as my foot never cleared the uneven section. Definitely not graceful, but the least damage yet in my several flops and bad falls. Only a few minor abrasions on my palms, no torn pants, no tears at my knees, and an i-pod that was intact. More out of shock, I quickly brushed myself off and wanted to keep going. We survived the lights, down the hill and rounded the last turn onto Britton Parkway.

With legs burning at this point, it’s simply a fight to the finish. With about 1/2 mile to go, I saw Aaron swatting at the air. In the next moment - a fly - right into my left eye! So gross! I attempted to dislodge it, then looked at my muddy hands and knew it would have to wait - of course! This fueled my fire. If Satan was now sending flies, all the more reason to prove this battle will be won! We did finish. We did hobble/walk home. We will live to run another day. Lord, thank you for providing your strength once again. May I continue to honor you through my commitment and faithfulness to obey. You are worth it Lord, and the battle is yours.

Get out of my way!

2009-11-20T09:45:00.010-05:00

Ever have one of those days... you find yourself behind schedule (for any number of reasons from a very lengthy list), you talk yourself into everything being "fine" by focusing on simply getting to your next destination, you've taken a breath, attempted to act like a mature adult, and then... you get stuck behind that large white van whose driver seems to be completely oblivious of your said plans and has NO INTENTION OF USING THE CLEARLY DELINEATED PETAL ON THE RIGHT! AND, why is it that this said driver seems to instinctively know exactly where you are heading because you continue to follow them around EVERY TURN THE WHOLE ENTIRE DISTANCE TO YOUR DESTINATION!!!

Not that I can speak from personal experience on this issue or anything, but if one found themselves in this place, I would assume that this lack of control could do one of two things:

1. Create a sense of greater and greater tension... or perhaps

2. Create an opportunity for said person to pause , contemplate, and look for a perspective, perhaps an angle that might even see this obstacle as a blessing, of sorts, in their life.

So what did I do? Well... both. First, I reacted, not so maturely may I add. But, when I chose to pause, wanted to see something other than my anger, some new thoughts came to mind (can't take credit for them, remember I was just mad!) In now looking at this white van, this source of my tardiness (which wasn't actually the real source of my tardiness), I now saw it as an angel in white. I know, perhaps a bit of a stretch, but I viewed this van as a rescuer of sorts. I had grown so accustomed to breaking the law, that in the name of all things justified and comfortable, in traveling this same route day after day, my flesh arrived at the conclusion that it is my right and within my control to go as fast as I want - all in the name of being punctual! This very rule, set for my protection, became the reason to bust out of my "fence" and TO CONTINUE TO CLAIM IT AS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!

I needed this reminder to slow down. I needed to look at the anger that so easily arose in the face of this obstacle in my life. I needed to re-prioritize the consequences of being a few minutes last, over the the safety of myself and my family. I needed to take a breath. I needed to think of someone other than myself, perhaps even the object of my anger - the driver in the white van. His shepherd loves him too.

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Ministry of the Mundane

2009-11-17T12:14:00.004-05:00

The kids and I have been looking at the life of David this week. One of the most amazing qualities of His Word is how something new seems to stand out each time I reread familiar passages - it just never gets old - love that! This coming from a person who likes completion, once I finish a book, I rarely reread it again unless I'm searching for a meaningful quote. This morning's lesson - what we do in the "daily", perhaps mundane tasks, is where life's building blocks (foundations) are formed - but aren't those the ones we frown upon often?

In reading in 1 Samuel 16 and 17, our eyes and ears fell upon concepts that sometimes go unnoticed. In our familiarity with the big guy who fell from one simple stone launched by the little guy, we tend to gloss over the former history of this little guy. David was the youngest son of Jesse, the little guy. When it came time for Samuel to anoint a king (the Spirit of the Lord had parted from Saul, the current King), the Spirit led him to the family of Jesse. One by one, Samuel was introduced to the sons, and the Lord said to Samuel "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. Man looks at the outward appearances, but the Lord looks at the heart." (vs. 7) So whom does the Lord chose? One with a heart, and also "was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features" (12), go figure. The One who is sovereign, all knowing, has a plan.

The facts that stuck out to me this morning began with a question I asked the kids, "So what did David do after he was anointed, after his new calling on life?" Answer - He went back to the fields, he continued doing the work of a shepherd, and waited patiently on the Lord. Perhaps you sense a calling for you life? Perhaps God has chosen to given you visions, words, a sense of his divine plan for your life, and... you're not sure what to do about it? What do we do in the mean-time? May I suggest that we are to continue in the ministry of our "fields". Perhaps He is using this time for a preparation of sorts, perhaps even a heart check-up.

Next, we read that David was asked to come and play his harp for King Saul. When he was summonsed, he would play, then he would return to his fields. This was a new step, but a step towards what? I wonder if David considered Samuel's anointing a distant dream? He is anointed, serves the king, but then returns home to take care of his father's sheep. Yet in the mundane, as he serves his father at a thankless job, David is unknowingly being prepared for the challenges to come. In obeying Jesse, David learns to obey his Heavenly Father. On quiet hillsides while guarding sheep, Israel's God becomes living and real in David's life. Through daily troubles, David's faith grows, and he discovers his God-given strengths.

How could he possibly have known that by becoming skilled with a sling to save his father's sheep, he would someday save God's lost sheep - Israel? David has no idea how his faithfulness in daily living plays into God's bigger plan... and perhaps, neither do we. Will we continue to serve him today? Can we have joy in the mundane? Perhaps, it's an issue of the heart.

Lord, thank you today for this personal touch. My heart gravitated towards grumbling and even complaining today as the week's daily chores were upon my thoughts. Thank you for the question posed at Bible Study this morning - If I am never recognized for the tasks of today, can I still be satisfied in You? Thank you for the reminder that you, Jesus, can use our smallest offerings to accomplish the impossible in our everyday lives. Lord, my heart does desire to seek after you with everything, and most especially on the days when I feel I have nothing TO offer. Lord, I do recognize my husband is watching, my children are watching, my family is watching, my neighbor is watching. Do they see you? in everything...?

LET God

2009-11-13T11:53:00.006-05:00

If there's one lesson I'm continuing to learn over and over again, it's taking my mitts off the control of the "steering" wheel in my life. I seriously think that I really know what's best - for my family, for my plans, for my agenda, for me. I am truly disillusioned in thinking that I know, when the truth of the matter is - I don't know. I can't see what's coming up in the future to really be certain the best plan for now, I can't even truly know what's best for me because I think I want something, and then I get it, and don't really even want it. Truth of the matter - then who does know? One who is limit-less. The one who created me, the one who is all-knowing, ever-present, and all powerful. Not me, and really, thank goodness. I couldn't handle all that. So if, in my head, I know God is - should not my beliefs filter into my attitude, and manifest in my behavior and actions?

One quick real-life, real-time example. Three days ago, I was having a chat with my friend Jesus, in discussing some desires I felt were lacking in my life. I recognized some depletion in a few areas. In all honesty, I had a craving for affirmation, to be appreciated. Secondly, I had a craving to be listened to, I mean, the real, eye-contact, compassionate look with questions of "How are you doing today?" Thirdly, I also had a craving to be "whisked" away, to be surprised, to be cherished, perhaps in a romantic way. At first my heart was simply in a place of acknowledgement - this is what I feel I need. What followed was very important. These needs, could have quickly turned into a justification for a pity party, and hurtful jabs and finger-pointing at one who could be fulfilling these needs and was neglectful. But before this run-away train of feelings and emotions occurred, I wanted to look at the truth.

1. If Jesus Christ is all-seeing - does He not "see" what I do even when one one else does, and in fact really appreciate and affirm my heart in all "the grunt work" that goes unnoticed by human eyes?

2. If Jesus Christ is ever present - does He truly listen to my every word, all the time? I believe He does, but is it enough for me? If I claim that He is my all sufficient, can I be satisfied with that?

3. If Jesus Christ knows my heart's desires, will he not provide those "little surprises"? If I watch, do they happen in my life all the time, perhaps not the way I think they should?

Back to my real life example. Decision time. I needed to choose. Will I focus, mull, and fester with my feelings and my rights? Will I share them with my Jesus, and leave the outcomes to Him, in fact, trust in Him and His promises? I chose the latter, not because I'm super-Christian, but I want my actions to follow my beliefs. I didn't know the outcome, but I wanted to take my hands off. Did this require that I stuff my feelings and thoughts inside? Nope, not healthy, but it did require thought, purpose, and intention. Did this response require some words? Did this require action or waiting? I'm finding that each situation is unique. This time, I spoke a few words, almost in a voice not my own. My tone spoke honesty, love, and care for a relationship in my life (not my words, but the Spirit's, bizzare and amazing at the same time.) Then, I needed to wait. By the end of the day, the matter was not resolved, but was peaceful. The following day, I released my grip on the agenda of the day, and an opportunity presented itself. Within this opportunity, I was both asked AND listened to, I was affirmed in the most meaningful way, AND there was a surprise ending that was a complete reward in and of itself - over and above, more than I could have asked for or imagined... 2 days.

Why? I took my grubby mitts off. Because I trusted Him with not only my heart, but the heart of another. Did I know the outcome, or even expect a great one? No, I was content and peaceful before the outcome presented itself. THAT'S GOD. I can't explain it any other way. I don't need to. What do you think I'm going to do when the next conflict presents itself? Yep, it's becoming more and more of a natural reaction, a re-training of sorts. Easy? Nope, yet SO truly life-changing that I can't keep quiet about it. It's starts with a first step... Who is God to you? What part is He allowed in your life? Today, will you LET Him? First, we need to know Him... Will you open that dusty book today? What IF this changes your life? What IF life could exist like this? Would it be all that bad? Click that mouse, take that step, let me know if I can be of any help.

He gave me silence...

2009-11-11T21:48:00.003-05:00

In looking at my schedule this week, I realized the only "time slot" left for running on this Wednesday was the "early morning" shift. At times I wake up before the alarm sounds... not so much this morning. Let's just say it was an effort to get up. In fighting a sinus infection, my body was screaming at me to quit being crazy, to be sensible, luckily, stubbornness won the battle. As I headed downstairs, I grabbed my IPOD... no bars - yikes! I forgot to charge it, well... I'll just borrow my old one. Plugged her in and off I went.Wasn't long before... red bars turned to no bars. Okay Lord, I hear ya. I've been doin a lot of yapping lately, I think it's time I need to be quiet and listen.

Thank you for the lesson Jesus (gulp!) I realized how my prayer life has been suffering lately. Sure I dialogue, sure prayers happen with the kids in the morning, meals, and night time, but when was the last time my heart tuned into Him alone, to others? I needed this morning. So thankful for his ever-listening ears, that He answers my prayers, for perspective and sight, for the opportunity to pray for "not-my-words-but thine" Lord. You changed my day today Jesus, and I thank you.

By the way, just noticed this is the 100th post to date. Amazing Lord. This from a girl who despised writing growing up, I'm talking a fear of red pens that was beyond normal. This is why all credit goes to you Lord - you alone put a new song in my mouth!

Psalm 40:3
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.

Psalm 98:1
Sing to the LORD a new song, for he has done marvelous things; his right hand and his holy arm have worked salvation for him.

Psalm 33:3
Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy.

Shhhhh... I'm listening.

2009-11-02T20:43:00.006-05:00

1 Kings 19:12

¹² After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

Kitty, one of "the girls" from our amazing speaker team during the She Speaks Conference this past summer, emailed us with this challenge. She sent us this verse and asked us, "What is the Lord asking you to write?" The coolest part about this challenge is that you will be able to link up with several others who will be praying and writing about this same verse. The many facets of God will just light up in an amazing way, I just have a feeling. So keep reading and don't forget to check the link on the bottom that will take you to Regina's site, our gracious hostess.

So here we go... gentle whisper... Actually, one of my favorite topics. For me, I've come to recognize the sound of my shepherd's voice through these types of gentle whispers that seem to float across my heart. How does the Lord speak to you? Can you remember specific times in which there was no doubt it was He, The Great I Am, speaking so personally, just to you, as if no one else was in the room?

Well, before we go there, let's take a little closer look at the context of this passage. In chapter 19, we read about the prophet Elijah. We find him fleeing for his life. In desperation, he comes to a tree, sits down, and prays that he might die (pretty dire straights here!). "I have had enough, Lord, " he said. "take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." Ever been at the end of your rope like this? But God... had other plans. He sent an angel who told him to, "get up and eat." Sounds like words I say to my children every morning, yet isn't that like our Lord to give it to us straight, to recognize our needs and to give it to us in simple terms. Funny thing is, the Lord needed to repeat it a second time for Elijah, we need repetition don't we :)

Strengthened by food and drink, Elijah traveled forty days and nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night. So Elijah is physically rejuvenated but still feeling the effects of the events 40 days before. God is now ready to teach him an important lesson. He will "pass by" Elijah (I wonder if he had any idea just how special he is?), giving Elijah a glimpse of his holiness.

The wind, the lightening and the earthquake increase Elijah's awareness of his own weaknesses. But God is present in none of these things. Instead, he manifests himself in a "gentle whisper", revealing to Elijah that strength and power are not always found in the dramatic or sensational, but at times in gentleness and calm. Elijah immediately recognizes God in the quiet murmur, responding with awe and reverence.

How does this story reverberate with you today? Have you found yourself in a place where you have journeyed "40 days and nights", feelings the effects yet ready more than ever to see the presence of the Lord and to receive the lesson and refinement He has for you? Perhaps your view of God is one of wrath, as represented in the lightening and earthquake. Is it possible that we have not been listening to that still, quiet whisper? Can we believe, can we trust, can we follow in obedience? Is it possible to find strength and power in gentleness?

My life is a living testimony to "yes". But by his grace, I dared to believe in the "craziness" of what he asks of me. One step at a time, one yes at a time, one battle at a time, one victory at a time, one miracle at a time, one "taste" at a time, and you won't even remember what was so appealing about the "old" life - this "new" life is just too amazing to miss out on. Easy, no, amazing, yes. Spending time with Jesus will increase our appetite for believing Him, not just believing in Him. Will you join me? Click here, and here, for more information.

Click here and keep reading more about His whispers, you will be blessed!

Have you prayed for your kids today?

2009-11-01T23:07:00.008-05:00

Two weekends ago, I had the privilege of attending a Women's Conference in town. An even greater privilege was to attend with my mom, a wonderful teenage girl who we consider part of the family, and several other dear friends. The conference was put on by a group of ladies called Extraordinary Women, (click here to check out a location near you). Amazing "take-aways" and areas in which the Spirit spoke right to my heart, but one overall theme that I keep sensing as it reverberates across my heart, has to do with prayer.

Stormie Omartian, an amazing author and speaker, has written a book titled, The Power of a Praying Parent. I don't know about you, but my children are prayed for in many different ways, but in certain areas, I have yet to pray for them... until now. Through Stormie, God is helping me to take a look at how to turn to Him and place every detail of my childrens' lives in His loving and capable hands.

Perhaps you're reading this today and it's yet another post about children, and you sigh thinking, I don't fit into this category. My heart reaches out to you, I've been there. In fact, God gives us a great example in the book of 1 Samuel about a lady named Hannah, check it out. And while you're at it, check out my dear friend Rachel's site, her study will leave you changed. Sometimes we forget, nothing surprises God. He's known us since before time began. He knew we'd be here, right in this very moment today. He doesn't leave us without His truth, His Word to draw from, examples of our humanness, examples from the perfect Son he sent to us and for us. Perhaps today, the Lord has given you special "children" in your life, perhaps nieces or nephews, neighbors, children of friends, or even a room full of Sunday schoolers. Prayer is powerful. Prayer is life-transforming. Prayer is a command.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

¹⁶Be joyful always; ¹⁷pray continually; ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Not only am I concentrating on praying for my children's safety, character development, relationship with God, and friends, but I'm, in turn, teaching them how to pray in a way that is natural and free as if talking with a friend near them. I've been using Stormie's book, What Happens When I Talk to God?, as a way to introduce them to different facets of what to pray about and the attributes of their Heavenly Father as well. It's led into some discussion of the Lord's prayer, found in Matthew 6, as well. It's transforming our lives. When I asked the question, "What do you talk to God about while you're at school?" I uncovered aspects of their heart that I never knew where being shaped, what a beautiful picture to me, what a blessing.

I wonder if you might be sitting in skepticism today. Perhaps your are doubting the power of prayer. Maybe you prayed for something and you feel that God hasn't answered. Perhaps you've been praying for awhile now, and it appears God isn't listening. Maybe you wonder if He even hears you, if He even cares? Let me tell you that you are not alone. You are indeed at a crossroads. You've come to a place where truth is offered, your actions to follow will indicate your belief. Matthew 7 states, "

¹³"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. ¹⁴But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Which gate will you enter today? As you dare to believe in the truth that God spells out, as you dare to believe and place your trust in the One who cannot be seen with the visible eye, will you be able to share in the truth that states, "He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" (Ephesians 3:20)? Will you dare to "taste and see that the Lord is good.." (Psalms 34:8), in order to receive the abundant, full life that is offered? What are you waiting for? What is your fear?

"Be amazed, be changed, by a perfect God".... singer Natalie Grant.

What a night to race!

2009-10-23T23:19:00.003-04:00

So my dear husband gets a crazy idea for a "date night" - lets go run a 10k race with hundreds of college kids! And even crazy was my response - why not. Even more crazier, our dear friends willingly joined us as well.

This race was a bit unique. Spondered by Nike, this same race was held all around the world this evening. Through the uses of Nike+, a sensor chip that records all one would like to know about their runs and more, through an IPOD, you have the capability to connect with runners all over the world. It was called "The Human Race", and it was held on The Ohio State Campus following their homecoming parade.

As with any race, you never know what you have in store. As we waited in the starting shoot, rain fell lightly, enough to cover us in a glistening dew. As the buzzer sounded and we were herded like cattle through the shoot, the skies just opened up. It was the kind of rain that felt like drops the size of a tennis ball falling on you sideways. It was dark, everyone wore a red shirt, and we became saoked in seconds, what could I do but chuckle. We have a sincerely twisted idea of a fun Friday night! As fast of the rain fell, was as fast as it ended. Waters flowed in streams down the sidewalks and young men became boys as they purposely splashed in all the puddles.

Before we began, we all talked about a "nice" run, nothing break-neck speed. That was before the race. Whether is was "going with the flow of traffic", or just an instinct to challenge yourself in a true race setting, off we went. The girls stayed together and the boys stayed together, not so much of a date night then, but close enough :) It was a very interesting course. We ran over bridges, by horse stables (you can only imagine the comments), and UP brick streets, dodging guard rails along the way. It seemed to pass by in a blink, yet at times the next mile markers seemed to grow farther and farther away. It was great to run with friends, it was great to run with strangers and simply encourage as I felt led.

We all crossed the finish line around the same time, and we each had a take-away as we chatted. Amanda was able to run despite a nagging injury. Dave was able to run as fast as his potential would allow - he gave it his all! Aaron had to stop and tie his shoes 4 times, getting some sprint work in, and finishing his last mile in great speed. I had fun! Really, an amazing time was a bonus, the experience of running another journey together was like whip cream on my pumpkin pie - sweet and so satisfying. Thank you Aaron for making this a special night. Thank you God for the strength to endure and joy along the way.

Proud Momma

2009-10-19T21:49:00.005-04:00

Saturday afternoon, roughly around 1:00 pm, I witnessed 3 events that simply took my breath away. Our 3 precious blessings each took one brave step towards a starting line, waited for the buzzer, and took off running this first-ever race in their young lives. Words cannot describe my joy, my love, my sheer pride. No nerves, no doubts, no hesitancy. They began and ended with focus, a controlled, relaxed pace, and a smile on their face. Maybe it was the Krispie Kreme doughnuts that awaited them at the finish.

With our races scheduled for Sunday, we had discussed the possibility of this event with the kids months prior. Their answers were quick and clear - yes Mommy! As a family, we were able to take a trip to the Convention Center, and together pick up our pre-race packets, information, and numbers. We walked this road together, we are able to support and encourage one another together - a gift that is beyond words.

Each child competed in their own race, with their own age group. Brynn completed .15 miles, Emma .35 miles, and Austin .8 miles. Each race was as unique as each child. Brynn (who signed up last minute as Mommy wasn't sure if baby girl was ready), was the most confident. She was quick to tell me she didn't need me at the start, she would see me at the finish. After completion, she asked if she could "do it again. " Emma rounded her corner with a strong, steady pace, focused on her finish line (with a slight smirk on her face as she performed for her audience). Austin rounded the corner with a crooked smirk, head swinging, happy to be on his way to completion. At one point, we could see him through the trees slowing to a walk. After yelling his name, he was quick to pick the pace up once again :) He wore his Daddy's watch after a few minutes of instruction, and as true to his nature, stopped it just as he finished. His goal time was 7 minutes, he completed in a 5:49 - awesome job!

The finish line looked just like the ones the grown-ups have, and a metal was placed around their necks at the finish. What a way to share in an expereince, to give back to them after all the encouragement they've given me over the past 3 years. I will cherish these memories for years to come!

Barnum and Baily sponsored this event, called the "Red Nose Run", and my fun-loving father was more than happy to don the gift of a red nose. While waiting for Austin to round the corner to his finish, I glanced over at my Dad and said, "I am just bursting with pride in watching them desire to succeed." He said two words - "I know."

This got me thinking... if I am just bursting at the seams with pride of their strive to endure, how much more so is their heavenly Father?

This concept boggles me, I love what the Bible tells me,

Matthew 7:11

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Luke 11:13

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

Lord thank you for the opportunity to pursue more of you through this family ministry of running. Thank you for those opportunities when the children are watching, and we don't even realize it. Thank you for loving us and protecting us. Thank you for a legacy to leave for generations to come.

God did it again!

2009-10-18T16:18:00.006-04:00

You might call me crazy. I did. I found myself asking the question, "Who gets up at 5 am on a weekend, to go stand outside, downtown Columbus, in 30 degree weather at 6:30 in the dark, dressed in nothing but light-weight running gear, and actually enjoys it?" Not only that, but we were surrounded by 15,00 others, just as crazy as us? Running - I can't explain it, I can't get enough.

Well, despite the chilly start to the morning, there was no rain AND there was sunshine - big blessing in light of recent weather choices. My life partner and love of my life Aaron, along with my amazing running companion and friend Amanda, set out on another journey this morning, anticipating a great morning run together. And then God...

I read over a few scriptures before leaving this morning, nothing but the desire to place the Lord first above all MY intentions this morning, and my eyes fell upon verses from Philippians that have breathed life into my soul many times over.

Philippians 3:12, 14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Press on, my Lord, in His precious way, was the complete provider this morning. He blessed me with companionship for the journey, weather for the way, strength as I called out in prayer, but this time, He also added a focus. One like I've never felt before. My father calls it my "game face", I experience it as tunnel - vision, God gave it to me in the form of mental strength - it trumped all other thoughts of quitting, slowing down, and getting by - it empowered me to press on.

My goal/heart's desire for today was to see a number I have not seen thus far in my running journey. As He's graciously allowed me to complete, now 6, half-marathons, I've never seen a time lower than 1:54. With all that was within me, I desired to see a 1:53 like nobody else's business. It's eluded me each time, it was a goal that I dared dream about, yet mostly "doubted" about. Each race has brought it's lessons and it's purposes. Time has always been a nice bonus, never really the reason to run.... until today.

My Father, veteran track and cross-country coach, left with me with some parting advice this morning... Have fun. Same advice He shared with our precious children before running their kids' races just yesterday. It was good advice... no, it was wise advise. Our journey was meant to be enjoyed, how easily we forget at times. With this in mind, Amanda and I waved good-bye to Aaron, thanking Him for the prayer before departure, as He set off for His race - and we enjoyed the time, the scenery, the people. With the familiarity of the course, we set off on ours.

As the miles came and went, I noticed a strange sensation. I'd experience a time of depletion and a time of restoration. The mind vs. the body completely fascinates me. In times of depletion, I needed to talk to myself. "Remember your form, pick up your legs, breathe. You're doing well. You've accomplished this much, and now we have this much left." Over and over this happens. A little while later, I then experienced a moment of "lightness", almost like I dropped a twenty pound weight and was free from weight and pain. In these moments, I thought, "I'm really going to do this." Back and forth, back and forth. A fight, an enjoyment, a fight, an enjoyment. So much like life, isn't it. At one point Amanda asked me, "How are you doing?" "Good, " I say, "At least I'm telling myself that."

Mile after mile passed by. One by one, as has happened every other time, the finish line comes into view. These last few moments are times in which both body and mind need to dig deep. All the training runs prior to the day flash across my mind, thoughts of completion drive me to the end. I round the last corner and I squint to see the time clock above the finish line. The strain of the race is begging to be relinquished, my mind is willing me to push forward to press on, my heart longs to see those ever elusive numbers, 1:53. My eyes focused, ready to see... What is it? It can't be. It is. My eyes tell me I'm completing this race in a 1:48!!! Unbelievable - only God.

Ephesians 3:20
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Lord, you amaze me, you bless me, you overwhelm me, I thank you. I praise you for allowing Aaron to complete the race well, even through his sickness. I thank you for protecting him, I thank you for Him. I thank you for teaching me over and over how obedience brings blessings, more than I could could ever ask for or imagine. I thank you for providing the strength to press on. I thank you for the ability to dare to believe that with You, all things are possible. I thank you for bringing me into your forever family. I thank you for loving me. I thank you for seeing me a a beautiful child. I thank you for the trials. I thank you for the lessons. I thank you for the joy. I love you.

Kids Say the Craziest Things

2009-10-13T23:00:00.002-04:00

Always fun, and always fresh material when it comes to living with little people. Here are some of the newest sayings flying around our house:

1. Daughter - "Mommy, when you brush my hair, can you give me a brain?"

2. An early morning dentist appointment, "Mommy, those cars have flashlights!"

3. Famous driving comment, "Mommy, how many more years till we get there?"

4. Washing hands with our African American friend, she noticed his palms, "Mommy, his brown paint is washing off!"

5. "Mommy, why are crying? Where is your boo-boo? I'll kiss is for you. It's a boo-boo in your heart? I can't reach that one. Jesus will have to fix it for you."

Children are completely precious. Though at times I find the need to remind myself of this fact, the overwhelming amount of blessings bestowed through these priceless gifts leave me breathless. Their hearts so easily forgive this imperfect Momma who does not always practice what she preaches. I have learned to model apologies, forgiveness, and restoration in a way that reaches them, a tangible way. I am still learning to appreciate the moments, and to possess a sense of contentment in all circumstances. This once career-driven lady, now finds that watching Nemo with my daughter was one of the most important things I did yesterday. It spoke the language of time and touch to our youngest gift, and went straight to my heart. For this is how God loves us, personally, tenderly, unconditionally. Jesus, thank you for being my perfect example.

I'd like to leave you with one last list. These are the words God has spoken to me by listening to the words that have come forth from my own mouth. By hearing them, I can just picture God smiling and nodding... hmmmmm.

1. Kids, Mommy only needs to say something one time.
2. When I tell you to do something, it means right now.
3. Mommy loves you, that's why there is a consequence.
4. Be kind to one another, encouraging with your words.
5. What's more important, this object or your sibling?
6. We don't always get what we want, for a good reason.
7. Mommy expects you to obey the first time.
8. Complaining shows me an ungrateful heart.
9. Are you giving me excuses?
10. What is the wise thing to do?

Challenging isn't it? Praise the Lord in that His mercies are new every day. He is so patient with me when I grumble, argue, or simply sit by passively. Lord, I desire to seek you and to know you. Help me to forgive myself so that I may come to you, my Heavenly Father, in studying the example set by your Son, my Savior Jesus Christ. Have a wonderfully crazy day in Him!

Click here to link back to an amazing list of bloggers who are writing about this same "crazy" subject today. You will be blessed!

You gave me the name Mom

2009-10-06T12:19:00.006-04:00

My precious, firstborn child... My mind simply cannot wrap around the fact that you were born into our family nine years ago today. Your amazing birth is such a marker in my life. Not only did you give me the privilege of a new role as a mother, but in your birth, I was granted a new one as well. You see... my heart grew three sizes that day. Little did I know that by staring in amazement and wonder at this miracle of creation in my arms, I soon began to see a reflection of myself that up until that day I had not seen. You see sweet boy, with you, came the realization that I too am a child. A child of a King. A King that I had dethroned from the center part of my life, and placed on the outskirts along with the myriad of other activities. I had forsaken my first love. I had grown to depend on myself.

You see, sweet child, what I thought I had know in my life, areas I had a handle on or control over, soon came crashing down around me, for now, I had.... responsibility. And in all honesty, it revealed to me lots of selfishness... not a pretty sight. I had a job that did not come with a manual. I had a task that came with a concoction of physical exhaustion and unexplainable joy. I traveled a road (side-by-side a fellow newbie) that was brand new. I was on a journey with no map to follow... or so I thought.

Today, sweet child, you remind me of so many things. You remind me that it's important to pause, and laugh at the funny circumstances of life. You remind me that there are lots of questions to ponder about the world. You remind me that kindness abounds from a heart that is peaceful. You remind me that the answers of today could change by tomorrow. You remind me of the day that the Lord did a work in my heart. I love you Austin. Thank you for the gift of you!

Serve

2009-09-18T06:51:00.007-04:00

Serve. What does this word mean to you? When scanning goggle images for a picture, several examples popped up when asked to "search" for this word. A few were pictures of waiters serving, some indicated a volleyball or tennis serve, others displayed an image of serving your country, one even gave me a book title, Serving in Silence. Well, the Lord asked me to serve this week, and sadly no, not in either a volleyball game or tennis match - there's a reason why I stick to just plain running :) He's asked me to serve him with my hands. He's asked me to serve a friend. And up until this moment, he's asked me to do this in a way that is just between Him and I, no one else knowing about it but this friend. It's been an honor, it's been a joy, it's been a pleasure. All of the time? Sadly no.

During this time of serving this week, my thoughts have wandered. I've been serving inside, and my heart and my eyes have gravitated towards the sun beckoning me to be outside. My head gives me thoughts of the many other self-pleasing "things" I could be doing with my time. My desire for gratitude and a well-known pat-on-the-back were not to be given by several, but by one. I needed to make a choice. I could following my fleshly leading, or I could "fix my eyes on Jesus."

1 Peter 4:11
If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

This thing of the "flesh" is such a strong pull at times. I've noticed it lately when it comes to running. With cool mornings, and very warm afternoons, my body has been forced to adjust depending on the time of day, and believe me, it lets you know when it it not happy. My physical body craves balance. If my internal temperature is too far off, too hot or too cold, it gives me warning signs. It was designed this way. It protects me from long-lasting effects and damage, though it can often mask itself, appear as if it's functioning in a way, when in all actually it may be the opposite. For instance, my flesh was cold to the touch this morning, not a true indicator of what was occurring on the inside, I was roasting! Think of those cold winter days, picture yourself shoveling away, what tends to trickle down the side of your face? Yep, sweat. Our flesh is just that, a living, changing, and in all actuality, decaying, temporary matter. Can our desires be of similar nature? Do we crave that balance, comfort, ease in our life so strongly that it's the filter we use in making decisions for our day?

This humble servant is guilty as charged. Lord, I thank you for the gracious opportunity to serve you this week, just as you came to serve me. Thank you for giving me eyes to see. Forgive me when I wanted to turn from you and satisfy my own selfish desires. Lord, I do know that it would have satisfied me but for a moment. Your soul-filling satisfaction lasts for a lifetime. May I continue to learn through your manger example. May I be reminded continually that it is not about me.

The power of a touch

2009-09-08T20:57:00.004-04:00

Never underestimate the power of a touch. Just wanted to jump on real quick tonight to share something that came to mind as I was reading through the Psalms. Last Sunday night, our family had the privilege of attending a concert/testimony time of a wonderfully passionate man from Tulsa, OK, by the name of Dennis Jernigan. Aaron posted some wonderful words about this evening, but I just had one more story to share.

Dennis talked very honesty about the struggles we face, one such topic concerning a loss (in death, of a dream, of a relationship), and he compassionately invited people to stand. As He sang words over us, he invited others as the body of Christ to surround these brothers and sisters in Christ with a touch.

I took a few minutes to do a study of verses that contained the word "touch" using Biblegateway, and I took notice of some interesting phrases. Over and over again, my eyes scanned the words - do not touch, must not touch, can not touch, will not touch - in a variety of contexts. As I kept reading, I noticed a changeover once I hit the New Testimony. Suddenly my eyes were reading words of touch in the context of healing. Why? In walks Jesus Christ, our Saviour, Healer, Protector, Redeemer. And that's exactly what took place that evening - pure, honest, real transforming healing, spilled forth in the blood of Christ.

The story I wanted to share? As I felt a prompting to walk forward, reach out, a touch a lady I had never met, a strange sensation took over. Moments later, I too felt the warmth of a touch near my lower back. As I glanced over, my eyes fell upon the source of this small, yet powerful warmth - I was looking into the blue eyes of my youngest daughter. She too felt a prompting. Without fear, without question, without insecurity, she followed the example of the one God has placed in her life. A life she trusts. A life she so easily models. A moment that took my breath away. A moment that warmed not only my heart, but went straight to the depths of my soul. Thank you baby girl. You are a joy and a treasure to me. Thank you for your touch...Jesus.

Feeling unbalanced?

2009-09-07T23:40:00.009-04:00

For the past two months, I have been running in a different brand of shoe. I began running with Asics shoes, then I tried a pair of Newbalance shoes (in fact, my "first ever" post addressed this "new balance" in my life), then I felt at home in a pair of Mizuno, and lastly I've been running in a pair of Nikes. So, for the past few months I noticed a change. I experienced a pain, a nagging, familiar, grating pain that I had endured early on in my running journey, and I must say that I was not too thrilled to be giving it attention. In fact, I decided to simply ignore it.

This type of pain was not one to halt my forward process, but to simply slow it down. In my determination (and stubbornness), I kept on training, pausing to ice it and thrown down some Advil on the harder days. So what did my body do? It adapted. It adjusted. It tried it's best to meet the demands I was asking. It endured, yet in the strain, it's weakened state had no choice but to place more of a burden on the right side of body. The result - unbalance. It's effects - hip pain and knee tenderness. Again, not enough to halt all activity, yet enough to leave no doubt that my body was not functioning well due to the alignment issues it was forced to endure.

How else did I notice the unbalance? My husband told me. As we ran together one day, he needed to step in behind me on a busy street. He only needed eyes to notice my off-gait. What did I decided to do about this? I traded in my Nikes for my "at-home-feeling" Mizunos. The result? I have to admit that I feel balanced again. Though my body did adapt to it's off-kilter nature due to injury, it wasn't surviving well again the strain. Back in the "right shoes" for my body, balanced is restored. It will take a few more runs to fully readjust due to past strain, but I can already feel the difference. Isn't this an interesting analogy? How often do we push forward in our own unbalance, wanting to ignore the inconvenience, and strain to continue, even when it costs us things. In our self-seeking pursuit are we blinded to this unbalance, whereas others may see it as clear as day? Do we need to get "back-home" again to right our balance?

I got to thinking about this topic of balance on my run today. Though I realize I could perhaps be running the risk of over-analyzing, I believe the Lord had a lesson for me in this. You see, all summer I had been praying a prayer (along with Lysa Terkuerst from Proverbs 31 Ministries), that the Lord would unsettle me. I did not want to become too comfortable in my summer days, running the risk of becoming lukewarm in my faith as to settle with good enough, I wanted him to show me areas of my life that needed adjusting, that were a bit off balance. I just couldn't stop myself from thinking about the possibility that he allowed this time of physical unbalance to give me an illustration with how off-balance my spiritual life was becoming (and truth be told, my mental well-being as well), could there be a connection there?

God-timing never ceases to amaze. In looking back over the course of just the past two weeks, I can see how my prayers have been answered. And believe me, I had even forgotten I had prayed about the unsettling thing. In this time of transition with a new school year, a church home, and the lingering possibilities of a future move, God is helping me to look at some long-standing fears and hurts in my life. I believe he's bringing them to the surface, unsettling me, so that I may hold them up to the light and see the reality of what they are - so that I may call them out by name and that I may lay them at his feet, so that I may give Him the control, so that HE may carry the strain, one that He died for, one I was never meant to bear.

Matthew 11:28-30

²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

So many of the lessons I learn about my Heavenly Father come from the example I see in my children. As I was looking through pictures. I came across one I took of Brynn on her first day at preschool. She had not one fear about school. She walked in, hung up her backpack in the cubbie designated at hers, looked around at the choices, and quietly and confidently sat down at the block table. She glanced at me once (telling me "bye Mommy" with her eyes), and looked back down ready to focus on her task at hand. What an example of the balance that she possess in her young life (at that moment). Thanks for being an example to Mommy, precious girl. May I strive to seek my Jesus in the everyday moments of life so that I may share in those moments with you, my children. Lord, thank you for unsettling me. I want to be more and more like you, even through the pain. (You might have to remind me I mentioned this). I love you.

Jesus time anyone?

2009-09-07T22:24:00.008-04:00

If I asked you, what is the purpose of your life in this point of time, what would you say? I know, deep question, yet an important one. If I would answer this question myself, I would have to say that one of my main roles, or purposes, is to be a mom. Being a mom comes with a long list of "hats" in and of itself, but one that I'm learning to claim is to be leading them to the heart of God. Leading so as to allow room for them to claim their faith as their own. As with anything, it's been a process in our home, but I just wanted to share a few ideas that the Lord has brought my way.

Again, not claiming to be an expert, but a humble servant, "Jesus time" started with an intention to create a time and setting in which we can place God first in our day. And I say "we" because it's also important to me that my children "see" me spending time alone with Jesus as well as having time together. "Jesus time" has taken on various forms over the past few years. It began with story-telling through the use of books, dramas with the use of homemade props (stuffed animals entering an ark), time with manipulatives such as playdough and puzzles, and even the use of curriculum materials such that the AWANA program creates. If you're wondering where to start, my suggestion is to take a family field trip. Visit your local Christian bookstore and just peruse, there are tons of great material for all ages available. I've found that the more they participate in the process, the more ownership they begin to take in their learning, and more motivation and fun is created.

This school year, the Lord is leading us to spend a week on a particular story. Soon we'll be switching to a week spent on character traits. We're starting to create our own materials in a three ring binder, that suits each child's age span. For example, we looked at the armor of God this past week. By doing a little searching on the net, lots of great reproducible materials can be found. Each morning we discussed another part of the armor. Austin read the verses from Ephesians, Emma read another verse that was indicated on the material we printed, and Brynn pointed to the pictures on the pages that we colored. They each completed an activity related to the armor, and I asked a few questions along the way. If your child is able to read, have them open the scriptures and read aloud, nothing is more sweeter to your ears, I'm telling ya! If your child is not of reading ability yet, there are tons of ways they can participate as well. As you know the learning style of each child (visual, auditory, tactile, hands-on), feel free to get creative to reach each one in their unique way.

At the end of the week, we used some homemade props to dress up in our armor. Really it doesn't need to take up much time, we average around 15 minutes, sometime we only have 5, but we do make it a priority, even if we just have time to pray. I'm telling you, this has been transforming for our day. What I thought might be a drugery after a time, has proved me wrong. I don't get any flack when I announce it's Jesus time. If you allow room for the Holy Spirit to work and move, he will.

Ephesians 3:
²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I pray that this is an encouragement to you today. As with anything, it starts with today. And if tomorrow, you don't, the next day you can. I'm learning that living in the "now" instead of focusing to much on the "next", brings numerous possibilities and even unexpected joy. Have a great day in Him!

This is how we roll!

2009-09-07T21:35:00.009-04:00

So here it was... a Friday night. With no prior plans, the girls and I headed to the pool for one more time this year, and the boys...started a fire :) In a spontaneous moment, we decided to go camping... Conrad style. Nothing like the great outdoors, of your backyard! The best part - clean potties are only a few steps away.

It was an amazing family night. Dinner consisted of hot dogs (with just a bit of ash), a houge-pouge of potato chips, and for dessert.... smores! We simply spent the evenings outdoors, as as the sun disappeared, the full moon simply glowed above, complete with a smattering of stars that truly twinkled. After some time exploring spider webs and a variety of bugs with our flash-lights, the kids entered the tent for the evening as mom and dad sat by the fire, basking in the joyful glees from their sleepover fun and getting lost in the amazing, mezmorizing changes that take place in a campfire.

All went well... until around 2:30, when the brisk cold weather awoke our sleeping angels, and no amount of blankets and jackets could allow their excited minds to rest, so we simply retreated to our warm beds and slept in just a wee bit later, ready for a breakfast of champions!

My heart was simply filled to the brim with warmth, and it wasn't just from the fire. We are so proud of each of our sweet blessings, that happen to come in the form of little people. Their hearts are so tender to each other (most of the time), and the way they are so fascinated with creation just lends itself so well to pointing towards our creator. He has provided such great opportunities already around our fire pit, we can't wait to see His plan continue to unfold.

Lord, I thank you for simply providing ways for me to soak in your creation like never before. I cherish the time you provide for us to live, laugh, and love together, whether it's an activity or simply a time to cuddle. May we continue to look to you for ways that might be a little "out of the box", yet ways that deepen our bond and create memories that will last a lifetime. I thank you for loving me, and never leaving me. May my faith continue to grow as I place my trust in you. I love you.

Another day...another race

2009-08-30T11:55:00.006-04:00

What an absolutely gorgeous, and truly perfect, day fo r running a race. There are several factors in life that are out of one's control, and weather is just one of them. When the Lord just seems to pause for a moment, in the midst of all creation, and hand-picks a day made especially for you, you can't help but he completely grateful for his love.

Aaron, Jeff, Tom, Gordon, Matt, and Jeff's friend (don't you just fret you can't remember someone's name!) all gathered this morning at 6:30 am and headed to Tuttle Mall for the start of a 13.1 mile race. Doesn't that sound just so appealing? I have to tell you, I didn't even mind being in the estrogen minority, it was such a ball to hang out, joke, and stretch together before the 7:30 buzzer set us off in motion. And that it did, the beginning where legs are still fresh, goal time are in your grasp, and your heart is pumpin. Just wanted to share a few highlights from today.

1. Gordon, I can't thank you enough for the conversation those first few miles, it really helped push me along, more than you know.
2. Aaron, I'm so thankful for the time we ran together. You helped me set my sites back on Jesus in the midst of my human desire to focus on the pain. My heart melted to pieces when you handed me your water because I missed mine in the fly by, THEN ran back to retrieve some for yourself. I love you more each and every day. Thanks for the song, "He carries me..."
3. Lord I thank you for confirming your presence to me over and over today - answering my prayers for strength, filling me with your living water, sending an "eagle" overhead at mile 7, allowing me to drop some baggage at mile 9, then giving me an amazing spilt time, reaching through the cheers of the crowd, bringing me to the finish line - in my fastest time yet - ONLY YOU!
4. To all the men - congratulations first timers! Congratulations on many PRs! You inspire all those around you. Kuddos to your healthy hearts.

Thanks so much for spending a few moments reliving the memories of today. In my humble opinion, we all have "marathons" that we run, some daily. All the races look a bit different, but we're all in a race to make our lives count. What do you want to do with yours? Are you currently doing it? "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but who gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:24

I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14

Pictures to come. Have a wonderful Sunday in and with Him!

The desires of your heart

2009-08-29T21:45:00.010-04:00

Last evening and this morning, I got to spend some time with God. I was ushered into his presence by worship leader Travis Cottrell and spoken to by His servant Beth Moore, all through the miracles of technology. I was able to take part in an event hosted in Green Bay by simply traveling 10 minutes away and paying a minimal cost. They were such precious moments with Him. I thank my husband for simply being the best father and most supportive teammate. The kids were bursting with stories of what they "did" together when I returned.

Just wanted to share with you today a few points to ponder as we took a deeper look at Psalm 37, more specifically verse 4. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

1. Nothing dictates our lives like our desires.

2. Beneath the desires of our heart, is the heart of our desires.

3. Delighting in God adapts our desires into inevitabilities.

4. Nothing external can steal our right to delight.

5. To make room for delight, we've got to commit.

6. Nothing is passive about patiently waiting for desire to turn into delight.

7. Till faith becomes sight, trust God and do good (good, not right).

Under point number 4, Beth asked us, "What's taking a bite out of your personal delight?" She offered an acrostic - our JAW - jealously, anger, worry. Wow, lots to chew on there, no pun intended.

Basically, God gave me time to meet with Him today, in many unexpected ways. I went by myself (all in His plan), I came with some "issues" (all in my doing), and I sat with eyes-wide open, coming face to face with some of my uglies. I had a choice to make, face it or run. I think I'll leave the runnin for tomorrow. Because of his abundant grace and his overflowing mercy, I became unglued. My prayer lately: Lord, unsettle me. He answered. In fact, he prodded me to scooch over in the pew and reach out to the stranger next to me. I must have said no at least five times, and before I knew it, I had physically moved and my mouth was moving. Through this precious woman, I stepped out of my selfish, self-centered state to reach out for a moment, and I met Him right there, through the bluest, most honest eyes I've ever seen. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Carol.

For more information about Living Proof Ministries, check out the link to the right (Beth Moore), it's chock-full of great stuff, including a Texas sheetcake recipe that's been all the rave. Have a fabulous Sunday with Him tomorrow, I can't wait to run along the river and drink in his goodness tomorrow morning alongside my life partner. Until next time...

All things new

2009-08-28T10:41:00.006-04:00

Been doing a little bit of reading lately, and I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to share in my gratitude to Max. Yes, I fell like I can address him as such being as how we have a family picture with he and his beautiful wife Denalyn. Well, in reality, we stood in line at Sam's Club, and they were gracious enough to allow a Sam's Club worker to snap a shot for us :) He is one of Aaron's all-time fav's! And I must admit, this newest release does not disappoint. He is able to take a subject that affects each and every one of us, and use his gift of words to bring God's truth to life, sprinkled with hope and encouragement. He writes,

Fear will always knock on your door. Just don't invite it in for dinner. And for heaven's sake, don't offer it a bed for the night.

Several chapters challenged my current perspectives and left me to ponder, while others simply gave me words to put to thoughts that have been rolling around in my brain for quite some time. In a chapter entitled, "The Shadow of Doubt", Max cuts to the heart of the matter by looking at our doubts of the basic foundations of who and even if God is. In discussing the resurrection of Jesus, he zooms in on Jesus visiting both men on the way to Emmaus as well as the disciples. When asked the question, what would Christ have us do with our doubts. His answer can be summed up - touch my body and ponder my story.

He goes on to further state, "We can still touch the body of Christ. When we brush up against the church, we do just that." The church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself" (Eph. 1:23 NLT).

Max continues to say, "Christ distributes courage through community; he dissipates doubts through fellowship. He never deposits all knowledge in one person but distributes pieces of the jigsaw puzzle to many. When you interlock your understanding with mine, and we share our discoveries.... When we mix, mingle, confess, and pray, Christ speaks."

I just love that view of the church body, the community unto which we long for, were created for, are called to.

Yet another awesome read was placed in my hand at the She Speaks conference. Mary Demuth is the author and she writes a fiction story about a picture-perfect small town that "hides more secrets than the curved petals of a blood red rose." To read more about it, go to She Reads, an amazing new ministry that desires to place great Christian fiction into the hands of those who might be apt to pick up a story that will lead them to the true story of Christ. In fact, because it was simply placed in my hands as a gift, I would to pass this along. If you are interested, let me know and I will be more than willing to hook you up. Next up is a book titled, The Shape of Mercy, by Susan Meissner. Review to come and anther to give away!

Lastly, I just wanted to mention another "all things new" before closing. This Sunday, Aaron and I will rise early and hit the street, Riverside Drive that is, for another half-marathon race together. The amazing newness of this one is that we will be surrounded my friends as well. Our neighbor Tom, our friend and long-time runner, Gordon, Aaron's college buddy Jeff, and yet another long-time runner and friend, Matt will be amongst the thousands pursuing their journey with Jesus for a brief two hours of an achy-leg battle. I covet your prayers for strength and endurance as the Lord allows this amazing opportunity in our lives. Oh, and by the way, Aaron will be wearing a Fearless T-shirt, as he's been sending tweets back and forth with the Lucado crew! Have a fabulous weekend!

P.S. Brynn's funny statement of the day: "Mom, when you brush my hair, can you give me a brain?" (Still workin on the word braiD).

The last HU-RAH!

2009-08-24T15:23:00.013-04:00

Twas the week before school, and all through the house, all creatures were stirring, even our "mouse". As we filled up our time with last minute summer fun, my camera fearlessly snapped, attempting the catch all the moments in the sun.

We began with a trip to Cleveland, Ohio. Back to our roots, down the red-brick road to Lamson Ave. where my parents have lived for the past 26 years of their life. We love visiting Grandma and Papa. She always has the best treats ready to consume, plans to fill up our fun days, and beds made where her little ones once lay. We had bee-utiful weather this week, in fact, we had the best day for the beach. Yes, the beach of Mentor Headlands, one I frequented growing up, and lo and behold, there were even waves that day! As I tucked the kids in at night, I couldn't help but reflect on the changes that time brings. Many things in Bedford have changed over the years, but some have not, and those struck me the most. The same ladies who serve at a co-op nursery school, the same lady who lives at the end of the street, the same parents who loved my siblings and I with all their hearts, now pour forth the same love into their grandkids. Jesus, you have blessed us beyond words.

Next we planned a family day at King's Island. Another amazing day with perfect weather, definitely a highlight of our summer. We were so proud of them, they walked, waited, and rode rides for 12 straight hours. All this complete with some cash in our pocket and a camera in the other - no strollers, diaper bags, sippy cups, or A bag for that matter - ushering in a new season of our lives. They are STILL talking about it :)

We joined the Heart Walk in Columbus in support of our friends and in honor of Great-Grandpa Anderson, yet another beautiful day. We continued to add a baby shower, a birthday party, a visit to the hospital for the birth of another baby, a baptism, and at the end of the day, sat by the fire in amazement of the summer. God is good, all the time, all the time, God is good.

So here's to another amazing summer, looking forward to another year of learning. For all of these, I sit in awe.

Taste and see that the Lord is good... Psalm 34:8

The Beautiful Struggle

2009-08-15T21:27:00.008-04:00

Just wanted to give a shout out to my Creator this evening! He orchestrated such a beautiful day for our family. It began with a morning run. I awoke a bit early, actually refreshed, grabbed my Nano, and hit the streets. I witnessed the most gorgeous sunrise today, colors strewn across the sky due to the thick haze. As I rounded a bend, a monologue by Kirk Franklin rang in my ears. He mentioned two words that really struck me - beautiful struggle.

It wasn't so much the two words individually, but the two put together that got me pondering... How often do we avoid struggle, run from the thought of pain, discomfort or inconvenience? My three children are at a point in the year where siblings arguments flair up easily and frequently. After numerous (and I do mean numerous) discussions and problem solving sessions have taken place, I've reached the point of avoidance. Anything to quickly correct the issue or even avoid it all together are my first thoughts. It's a natural reaction, it's human, it's flesh. In my discussion with Jesus this morning, I thought, perhaps, I needed to ask for a perspective change. The struggle, can it be a beautiful thing? We all know the answer, we've experienced it before... the good that comes from the testing.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:2-5

I've noticed a bit of an inward struggle myself this week. For me, a struggle lies dormant inside, yet manifests itself in an outward fashion. I find myself short, snippy, impatient with the ones I love the most. I recognize it, let it go a few times, even ask for forgiveness, yet it shows up again and again. In my heart to heart this morning, I had an opportunity to process. As it mentions in James, I simply asked for wisdom. He simply answered me so beautifully, so personally. I returned with such a renewing in my heart. Am I "fixed"? Nope. I screwed up again nearing bedtime. Yet, it doesn't discount the beauty of this morning, and any other "morning" for that matter. As a child myself, I've crawled into his lap, asked for forgiveness, and received peace.

The day continued with some great family time walking in his creation at Hocking Hills, a beautiful cave, and almost-waterfall, not too far from home. What a joy to be able to "show" our children and talk about our Creator. After a great dinner and some evening hoops in the backyard (of which I was able to beat both "boys" at 3-point shoot-out :), we cooled off and settled down for a little r-n-r. As I cuddled with the kids, flippin from gymnastics to little-league games, I reveled in the beauty that he affords us in each and every day. Do we look for it? Do we listen? Do we watch? Do we talk?

Jesus, I'm looking forward to another gift in the form of tomorrow. Good-night.

Change

2009-08-09T21:47:00.006-04:00

Change. How does one little word invite such a broad spectrum of emotions to rise up from the pit of our stomachs to the fore-front of our brains? We don't like it, yet in some strange way, we crave it at the same time. Change brings about fear of the unknown, and also the thrill of a new adventure. Our hearts want to hang on, yet our minds are ready to plunge forward... or is it the other way around? This is where I found myself today - in a quandary of moving my head knowledge down to my heart, and in essence my soul. We're praying about a "change" in our family, and much like this picture, we're nearing decision time.

I got to pondering this topic as I took off for a run with Jesus today, my favorite way to spend some alone time with Him. It was a very hot and humid afternoon today, and I started to feel a little woozy, so I decided to cool down my temp. by walking for a bit. Not sure if you have experienced any type of dehydration before, but one tends to become a little loopy. In this state of backwards euphoria, my relaxed state of mind recognized the gentle whispers of my Jesus ask, "What is it about change?" Why he asks me a question when He already knows the answer still baffles me, yet, I picture him humoring me with a gentle, know-it-all smile, as the question is more for me than Him. Most often a question gets me thinkin. For me, change involves a different path, a different routine, or a change of thinking. I'm attempting more and more to look for the good in change. In fact, I'm actually learning to ask for change because it's in those steps of change that I grow closer and closer to the heart of my Jesus. How does this happen? I ask to grow in knowledge and depth of insight. I'm learning to ask for wisdom. I'm learning that this comes by living, breathing, and walking by faith, not necessarily by sight.

Hebrews 11 :1 ¹Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

So, for example, when a tree expert visits my house and gives us an estimate on the removal of a dead tree in my backyard, I/we have a choice to make. I can, hang on to the tree in hope and prayer for it to regain it's life so I can "love me some green leaves and shade" again, or I can let go and realize that it, in fact, is dead. As indicated by the picture to my left, our dead 30 foot tree was gone in 20 secs. with a quick chop and a slight force. Upon closer investigation, a brown spot dead center indicated that it had been struck by lightening, yikes! Sometimes you never know what's happening on the outside until you check the inside. AND, what once gave us shade and nestled baby birds within it's branches, now provides wood, and even seats for some fun backyard campfires in the fall season to come. We envision gatherings, stories, and songs being sung around this new use of his creation - that all came about from some change.

SO, as I talk with my Jesus, and again submit my plans to Him, I choose this day to surrender what my feeble eyes can see, and lay it at his feet. A gesture of my ultimate trust in Him, and belief that he has good plans for us, even, and most importantly, when I don't fully understand. I trust you Lord, and I thank you for the peace that helps me to know that I know that you are with me, confirming my thoughts, and answering my prayers. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief (Mark 9:24).

He Speaks

2009-08-04T21:07:00.006-04:00

He went (with me), He saw (the plans he had in store for me), He spoke (in such a personal way). I'm just now able to formulate a sentence after an amazing weekend spent with 600 of my sisters in Christ from all over the country and a few from the world. Words fail to describe the atmosphere that surrounded us, like one speaker said, we are all gathered by the same man, we're in love with the same man, and we cannot wait to share this man with all the world - THAT is a miracle. Everyone arrives with hopes, dreams, expectations, and anxiety packed in amongst their clothing attire, and all leave just a little bit lighter in one sense, and a little bit more full in another.

This weekend, ladies from age 12 to infinity :), simply came. Some came to join the speakers tract, some for the writers tract, some for womens' ministry leadership, and some for the next generation (teenagers), many not knowing exactly why they came, but all with the desire to obey their Savior in taking the next step. This year, I felt the Lord ask me to focus on speaking. As you can see from the picture, we just had the most fabulous group there! Honesty, these ladies just blessed my socks off! We had a time of speaking on Friday in which we shared our testimonies, and time on Saturday in which we shared a short message based from a scripture verse. These ladies simply put themselves out there - transparency, hurt, joy, and peace, all spoken so elequently, uniquely, and honestly wrapped up in 3 minute segments - captivating. In fact, in our group of 11, the Lord saw fit to place a fellow sister who teaches at a Deaf residential school in another state! Two fist bumps up sister! We serve a big GOD!

My traveling companion was none other than my fabulous friend and neighbor, Robyn, who came to present a fabulous bible study all about our journey toward contentment. God has tremendous plans for her. She may seem small in stature, but she is a mighty warrior for the King! Look for her blog coming soon! I honesty can't think of a more enjoyable 8 hour drive in my life than my precious time spent at the feet of this wise lady. The Lord is using her as such a model of strength, and I'm not sure she even knows it. Her humble spirit would shrug this off, but my heart just longs to brag on the One who lives within her soul, obvious to anyone around her.

THESE fabulous ladies the Lord brought to me in the hall, actually. We spent some time together early in the morning... running around the parking lot. Yes in deed, we had us some church, and testimony time sweatin in the humidity and burning some calories for Him! Really, it was such an honor to meet these girls, Susan (lady on the right) has a fabulous blog called Running Mom and she offered this get together on line, so our hearts connected even before we arrived - technology CAN be used for some great things! Ladies, I look forward to praying for one another as the Lord walks with each step.

And speaking of technology... this is beautiful Chrystie. As you have a moment, you need to click on her link to the right, the light of Christ just jumps off the screen through her words, I'm serious. We had a chance to simply connect on-line just before the conference, and this sweet girl came right up and tapped by shoulder. I just love the way God works. Just spend a few moments with this girl, and watch the love of Christ shine as she's more interested in knowing you than in talking about herself. God has gifted her in writing His story in her life in a powerful way. Keep taking those steps of faith, he is with you always girl!

As for me, God never ceases to amaze. As I prayed for an encounter with Him, I could see it and hear it all around. I saw it in the faces of those he brought my way, I heard it through the team members of Proverbs 31 as they spoke, I felt his arms of peace and comfort in a room constructed for prayer. He met me as he spoke words of gentle reminders, words that ground me in my position with him, words and scriptures specifically chosen by him, given through human hands, words just meant for little me. He spoke, "Heather, I am here. I love you not because of your works, but simply because I AM. I have a plan for you. I have a purpose for you today, I have a purpose for you tomorrow. Trust me with the today. Don't forget to come to me and I will give you rest."

Lord, I thank you for being my ALL in ALL. As my name was placed next to your name as you reminded me of how you are my banner, that you are the one who gives me victory over the flesh and the evil schemes, I DO choose to rest in you. As Satan spoke words of doubt and failure over me Saturday night, you came in and spoke words of love and forgiveness. Jesus, I pledge to you my life with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my mind. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer (Psalm 19:14).

TRI-athlon

2009-07-25T10:51:00.006-04:00

The next adventure.... a triathlon. I must admit that I'd been thinking about this for some time. Seemed like a good fit with both my love for swimming and running, a nice change up from just strictly running. My good friend Amanda approached me about signing up about 6 weeks prior to the event, and my heart just jumped at the possibility! Could this be Lord?

As with any new adventure, there were lots of lessons to be be learned along the journey. One such lesson was to actually hop back on a bike again, and not just any bike, but one with the skinniest tires I've ever seen, complete with something new - straps around the petals. I'm so thankful to my dear friend Jen who allowed me to borrow/try this new type of bike. It really made a difference, and I only fell once, in the privacy of my own driveway :)

As the countdown began to take place for the upcoming race day, an amazing thing happened... I didn't experience any anxiety - none. Now don't get me wrong, life throws factors at me that I won't read about in any training materials. Two weeks beforehand, my family was able to take an amazing vacation at OuterBanks Beach awesome runs on the beach), the week before was filled with camps, VBS, swim meets, and baseball games so much so that training just didn't fit in. That same week I came to find out that Amanda was injured and couldn't participate, as well as another friend who planned to participate as well. I did have a fleeting thought as to if I should continue, yet I knew in my heart that I needed to stay the course. Who really can figure it all out? I know I can't, but learning to trust in the All-Knowing living Lord has given me such peace, has freed me from the stress of even trying to figure it out, and has brought so much joy in the amazing moments I would have missed out had I looked at all the circumstantial evidence surrounding me.... now the moment...

June 28th. The day I turned 34. My alarm went off at 4:30, after only about 4 hours of sleep due to a great time of fellowship/ministry with non-believing parents of our 8-year-olds Colts baseball team, I was filled with peace, joy, and excitement. The "boys" in my life - my father, my husband, and my son, accompanied me in the van heading up to Alum Creek at 5:15 am. As my earthly coach, a.k.a Dad, helped me get my bike and gear situated and we strategized and talked with a few participants around us about the ins and outs, I had this strong sense of my heavenly coach just watching from above. It was a cool morning, and just before we begun, the heavens opened for a bit and showered down some rain (not really mattering as we stood waiting in swim gear). As I began to strike up a conversation with some girls surrounding me, I continue to stand amazed at the stories of those who also traveled a path that led them to this moment. A moment some of us dream, but few of us achieve. A place where your body, mind, and soul is tested in endurance, pushed to persistence, daring to believe in the ability to finish. And the amazing part is, most of us can't wait to do it again.

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8

The buzzer sounded, somehow my body moved into the water, surprising warm and relaxing after the cool rain, and off we went. The swimming leg.... amazing. The water - not as murky as I thought, the people - more spread out than I thought, my ability to stay on course - no issues there. Memories - getting in a rhythm and almost forgetting where I was, coming upon a lady floating on her back, just enjoying the beautiful skyline. The bike course - very smooth, not nearly as crowded as I pictured, shifting gears to take a little break as I needed, staring at people's calves, curious as to their age written there, staring at the beauty around me, simply stunned at the thought that I was in the middle of a triathlon. The running course - simply enjoyable. As my body fell into a comfortable rhythm, I felt led to simply utter a word of encouragement to those I ran by, my community, a group of people with the desire to finish a race they begun.

I vividly remember one moment on the bike where everything around me just seemed to pause for a slight moment. I remember asking for and uttering a prayer for strength leading up to this morning. And in that moment, sheer emotion overtook me as my thoughts uttered... Lord, for whatever your reason, you chose to answer my prayer, little o' me, at this moment, you saw fit to reach done from your heavenly throne and simply touch me with your strength... "my strength is made perfect in weakness, Heather." I am humbled and honored, my Father, my Savior Jesus, my Holy Spirit... the TRI-nity.

Lord I can't thank you enough for a fabulous birthday! To feel and see your hand at work today brought me to a state of sheer elation. Knowing that my family could attend in sharing cheers and capturing the moment just added to my joy. Lord, this is above and beyond all that I could imagine or think. My desire is to simply follow you wherever you lead. Help me to focus on you in those times of doubts, fears, and insecurities. You alone deserve all the glory and honor. I simply thank you for letting me be a part of your plan. I love you.

A race to remember...

2009-05-17T21:31:00.008-04:00

Last Friday, I popped in for a few minutes between several different school activities, and Aaron greeted me with "that look". Uhhhh-o, I thought. "Heather, what do you think about me running a marathon on Sunday with my sister?" My response - "Uhhhhh, noooo!" (Sadly, not the best wife moment). Seeing the deflated body language was evidence enough. As I began to "explain" my reaction - the training required, my protective nature, the ramifications on his body :), I could tell this response wasn't what he had expected.

Off I went to help out with the preschool Field day that afternoon. Not sure if it was the combination of amazingly beautiful weather, the chance to jump on an inflatable with darling 3-5 year olds for two hours, or simply too much sun, but I began to sing a different tune. If I had my cell phone on me at the time I would have called right there, but instead, I needed to wait. I was so filled with joy about the chance to pour some encouragement and life into my husband (a very privileged role reserved just for us wives!) I was elated to share of my excitement in encouraging him to call, register, and simply go-for-it, why not. He had trained well and experienced a half-marathon race not to long ago, worse case he would need to walk for part of it - but He would finish! I just knew it! This was a prayer answered, I had been talking to God about my reaction, so I knew this was from Him. AND, not only did I have a peace about this decision, I too felt like he was opening up an opportunity for us to experience this together. Amazing!

With plans we previously discussed with my parents (who still live in the house where I grew up in Cleveland), what began with thoughts of ways we could support Aaron's sister Tina as she trained for this race diligently, one thing led to anther, and there were were, 7am Sunday morning, sharing the experience together.

Some special highlights of the day:

Hearing "Cleveland Rocks" as the buzzer sounded at the start of the race.

Cool weather, beautiful skies, wonderful views of Lake Erie

Being separated from Aaron for a short bit, only to reverse and run against the crowd so I could find Him again, being apart was just unthinkable.

As we headed over an inclined bride, hearing the words, "Have I told you I love you today?"

Hearing random tunes being belted out by my husband, "All you single ladies..."

Cheering crowds, one group chanting, "You, you got what I need...."

Feeling the fatigue at mile 18... only to realize there were still 8 miles to go... hearing the amazing encouragement of my rookie husband!

Starting to believe we would actually survive the last 3 miles, amazed that he can still make me laugh through it all (including 3 child labors)

Heading down the homestretch, envisioning the smiles and cheers of our 3 precious treasures, my parents, and my sister Lindsey.

Crossing the finish line, holding hands, being announced as the "happy couple"

Overriding theme of the day - God is so good. He defies human logic. He gave me a peace about the decision, and a joy through all the pain. He allowed me to experience this with my best friend. He sustained me. He gave us strength. To Him be the glory. It can't be explained any other way. Aaron and I talked about it the entire 2 hour ride home, and we're still reflecting on it 2 days later. Praise Him! Praise Him! Praise Him! Now off to take some more advil...

My ultimate teammate

2009-05-02T17:35:00.004-04:00

What an amazing day! After days of rain, and an evening of thunder and lightening, we awoke this morning to blue skies. Such a gift. Thanks to my amazing sister-in-law, we loaded up two vans full of kids (4 of hers, 3 of ours), and backed out the driveway around 6:30 am. Weeks of training (several runs in mounds of snow), a few lost toenails, several blisters, and too many aches and pains to list, we headed for the start line near Nationwide Arena.

Aaron is a newer participant to the running scene (or the craziness as some label it), and though I've been able to shed a bit of light on some aspects, nothing really prepares you for the reality of the shoulder to shoulder start line and the countdown to what lays ahead. My amazing and ever faithful friend Amanda was running the race as well. Such a privilege and a blessing to be able to understand each other, no words needed at times, with one who "walked the road(s)" alongside you. For us, another day for a morning run, another chance to run a "leg" of the journey together. As with each day, each race in my journey thus far has had it's unique qualities, lessons, and actual purpose. Today was no different.

In the training runs I participated in prior to this morning, I chatted with the Lord as to the plans he had for me. Before the sound of the "bell", I would have told you that he intended for me to run with my husband, the whole way, that he would guide us along together in whichever way he intended. I have no expectations for us to share in this experience together, and I am just blessed beyond words to be able to grow closer together in this way. This truly has taken our marriage to another level. Up until this morning, Aaron has mentioned on several occasions that he wanted me to run my own race, and each time I would tell him in complete peace, my race is with you. After the sound of the bell, I looked over, and I just knew I was supposed to run with Amanda. Somehow, the I just knew, I was to "go", and in a sense, get out of the way to allow Aaron to run with God.

And so, I did (though I do admit that I glanced back once with the intention to encourage him to join, but the "locked and loaded" lock on Aaron's face was my confirmation). And so, Amanda and I "went". We both together commented on this being the best beginning of any race thus far. There was no pushing, no dodging, no scrambling - plenty of room, and a comfortable very comrade-ish feeling to the crowd. The sun was comfortable, the breeze was cooling, the scenery was perfect. We were able to keep the exact same pace together for the first 5 miles, pretty unbelievable.

Around mile 5, I just knew it was my time to settle into a pace that my body was comfortable with (struggling IT-band issue with my left leg), and I began my next leg of the race just the Lord and I. My mind was at peace, my breathing not labored, my desire to simply keep pursuing. Some of my favorite memories along the way are the people I see. I could give you several examples, yet one will stick with me the longest. Around mile 8 I remember a feeling of sheer thankfulness just wash over me like the sun's rays. Thankful simply to be able to participate in this event, thankful for the amazing weather, thankful for just this sense of being in his presence in the most tangible way. I heard his thoughts aloud as I was able to thank the policemen who gave of their time to be our protectors, thanks for the hundreds of people who gave of their time to cheer and encourage, thanks for every single "little" hand that was extended out to be "hi-fived" by those who passed by. I'm not kidding,only a few seconds after I had these thoughts, a lady passed by and said, "Thanks for what your shirts says." As in anything I "checked in" when choosing my shirt today. It reads,

"I can do all things through God who strengthens me." Team 413 (Philippians 4:13)

He is THAT personal of a God.

Aaron, thank you for joining me toady. Thank you for your desire above all to be a man of God. Thank you for doing business with Him today. Thank you for loving me in ways I never thought were possible. I couldn't be more proud of you today. I am blessed to carry the name Conrad. I love you.

Spring Cleaning

2009-04-23T14:52:00.002-04:00

Hello! Greetings on this beautiful sunny spring day! Alas, I haven't had the gumption to write in awhile, but I have been attacked by something I must admit has never bitten me before - the spring cleaning bug. I've meant to post about Brynn's birthday (now over 2 weeks ago), several running endeavors, and/or many funny kid phrases, but I just can't seem to sit down. You see, we began a new chapter at the Conrad household, one that includes a "chores" wheel. It's been inspiring, it's been challenging, it's been bonding, and even more - our home is clean!

Rather than go into details of how we're tackling the dust, dirt, and grim, I believe the Lord has a purpose in writing about the imperfections, flaws, failures, and funny mishaps that have happened along the way. In regards to above picture... one box from a new-bed-for-our-4-year-old + imagination = a fun memory and 1 BIG MESS! I just know we'll be finding small bits of styrofoam in our "clean" house for weeks. Another incident happened yesterday when I decided to wash my haven't-been-washed-since-we-moved-in-4-years-ago RED curtains, with another kitchen curtain that was and white. You guessed it, the shrunken curtain now resembles more of a red and pink type of combination. Almost as a reminder of how the Lord has covered us with something else red :), for that reason, the curtain stays.

In thinking more about this "washing" concept, the Lord gave me a question as I was driving yesterday, "zoning" as is my norm in the car... "Heather, have you allowing me to come in and clean house lately?" Hmmmm, good question. As He's allowed the opportunity for me to think about and talk about my gratitude for all that he has provided as we've dusted from room to room, have I allowed that same investigation and rolling-up-my-sleeves, to tackle the cobwebs and unmoved areas of the rooms of my life? Priorities. If I say the Lord is first, yet don't follow that beleive with the room and time in my day to invest in that relationship... and one day leads to another and another... the room in my heart gets dusty. I start on the road to self-sufficiency, independence, and ultimately selfish, self-driven priorities that usually ring true in the how I'm talking with those around me.

Dear Lord, I hear you, I see you. As we've sung "Fill Me Up" and "Treasure of You", compliments of the children's choir musical, my heart is yet again open to the message you so simply display in the hearts of my children. As I remember singing in our Lutheran upbringing, "Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a right spirit within me," may that be the cry of my heart. Lord, more importantly than having a clean and spotless house, if my heart within that home is filthy, your light will be dulled. As spring is here and summer is around the corner, may I enter this season dusting off the cobwebs of spiritual neglect and invest in my realtionship with you. May my windows be transparent so as to allow your light through instead of being diffused from my spots and my own fingersprints. I thank you for this beautiful day. Looking forward to our time together...

Scrappin

2009-04-05T14:46:00.004-04:00

I had the sheer pleasure of being surrounded this past Friday night and most of Saturday. Surrounded by what you may ask? Paper, paper, more paper, trimmers, adhesive, books, pictures, brads, flower do-hickies, scissors, stickers, paper punches, corner rounders, chocolate, stamps, stamp pads, glue, double-sided-sticky-tape, but most importantly, ladies who so passionately pursuit a creative way to leave a legacy for those they love (perhaps even those they don't even know).

Sabrina - thank you for the way you inspire me with your eye for photography, but even more so for the heart of Christ for your children. Hiliary - thank you for answering yes to my redundant requests to borrow yet something else I don't have, but even more so for the way you appreciate your husband. Angie - thank you being such an example of one who lives out a prayer life for others, all the while focusing on the race he's marked out for you in looking at Him. Andrea - thank you for your honest approach to life in living out an example for your children that displays a faith that is real. Jen - my beautiful "red-headed" friend, thank you for walking with me along life's road, helping me to learn how to trust in ways I never thought possible - and for lending me the last bit of your tacky adhesive - so generous!

Now I must admit, I was not the girl who came in with a beautiful rolling cart, organizers for all my paper and supplies, nor a cup-holder for my table (thinking of you Tina!), but I did think I could give it a whirl in putting some thought, time and energy into documenting memories with the intention of passing along His words to my children, and even my childrens' children. I decided to focus on one area in particular - the compilation of my running journey, for me, the real-life application of this verse...

Hebrews 12:1
... let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Now I know that scrapbookin has been around for quite awhile now. You probably reside in the camp of those who love it or those who do not even touch it (or those of us to used to and have slowly realized that this process could be never-ending and get overwhelmed enough to walk away :) My question and my challenge for you is this: What is the Lord showing you today? Take those thoughts, and jot them down, today, right now! It doesn't need to be perfect, beautifully formatted, or even spell-checked, it just needs to be honest. Before the million and one excuses hit your brain, just do it. You'll be glad you did! You just never know how the Lord may want to use them. Take it from one who never who never quite put pencil to paper without visualizing my teacher's red pen in hand, He might just have something he wants to show you, something you thought was reserved for an elite "special" few, something perhaps only He knows about. Will you ask Him to show you today?

It's the little things...

2009-03-25T22:53:00.010-04:00

Life leaves me breathless sometimes. This picture above seems to capture the sweetness of this Spring Break time as a family. I've been meaning to write lately, though night after night, I've found myself in a book (or the book has found myself in it, snoring and all!) As I find myself at a loss of how to begin this entry, I am simply overwhelmed with all the little things that have come to my attention throughout the past 2 weeks...

1. The delightful chitter-chatter of two darling little girlfriends, age 3 1/2. They carried on a conversation for the entire 20 minute car ride to the zoo with topics of conversation that ranged from what caught their attention outside the van windows to the intimate inquiries of the favorite activities of each of their siblings (both girls the youngest of 3... going on 13). I also must add that they sat side-by-side, still as can be for the same 20 minute time segment - marveling at the entertainment of monkeys and gorillas. Many important questions were asked such as, "Why is that one picking at his boo-boo?", "Which one is the Mommy and the Daddy?" and the ever popular observation of all bodily functions :) Most of all, each girl displayed such tremendous kindness, patience, and sharing that Mom didn't even realize that 4 hours had flown by, what a joy. Though at the roar of the great lion, it was our cue to leave.

Genesis 1:31
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

2. The gifts of our Father - as the birth of our niece was approaching, my Mother and Father made the trek from Cleveland to celebrate this much anticipated event. While staying to visit and lend a hand whenever and wherever needed, my Father requested a visited to Austin's classroom. As a retired teacher of 30 years, I found myself hearing somewhat of a childlike giddiness in his voice upon the request. After the warm response of Ms. Hobson, he prepared, dressed in a shirt and tie, and even stopped by the local Sports Clips for a trim. As I sat near the back of the class, and watched my father come alive, I listened as he welcomed, invited, and imparted knowledge to his captive audience on the history of inventors. He spoke about giftedness, the very thing I saw and remembered again in my Father himself - his gift for teaching. As I glanced at our son, who had a look of pride beaming on his face, I too was reminded of the pride I have for my earthly father. For now I see, he has given me the greatest gift of all - a true picture of all the gifts my Heavenly Father has bestowed to me - love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. I love you Daddy.

Galatians 4:6
Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father."

3. Amazing encounters - The Lord has provided several opportunities to walk alongside a fellow sister as well. The situations looked a bit different - lunch at a local restaurant, dinner over cheeseburger wraps, a Natalie Grant concert (AWESOME!), conversations over an ice cream shake - yet they all shared some common threads: listening to a thought, following through with the details to meet, investing in relationships, being blessed beyond measure. I cherish you sweet sisters. I am amazed at your strength, your beauty, and for your tenacity in your pursuit of Him. If you have a moment, click on my friend Mardee's link, you will be blessed. You are my hero sweet sister.

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times

4. Simple pleasures - This week has brought some very fond memories - Emma's persistence in learning to ride her bike, Austin pushing his sister on a park swing (the same one I pushed him on as a baby), the laughter of my three children enjoying an inside joke, a picnic complete with leftover breadcumbs for the ducks, humbly allowing my son to beat me at HORSE at the ripe old age of 8 (though I did make a come-back at theater-ball), playing for an hour in the sandbox, and making pancakes AND eggs for the third morning in a row. All these seemingly little things... together make one BIG picture that all fits into one big story - HIStory. I pray that I may learn to open my eyes and cherish these that I have been entrusted with. Lord, in looking for the BIG, may I not miss the small.

As Beth Moore wrapped up her Esther study with me a few moments ago, may these verses bless you today as it did me.

Psalm 18:20 (The Message)
God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

My challenge, my love...

2009-03-09T21:10:00.007-04:00

In all honesty, I must tell you that I'm currently in relaxed mode. Just finished a hot shower, got on some warm jammies, and am sippin on some hot tea. The pictures above were taken this past weekend - just plain fun. As I sit and contemplate my relaxed circumstances, I find myself in a season of peace and contentment. Find that hard to come by sometimes? Have I experienced this feeling of tranquility all day? You know the answer to this one... that would be a resounding, nope.

This was a challenge to myself today, "Heather, if you experienced this sense of ease all the time, would you truly appreciate it?" Though my head knows the answer to this one, my heart needed to let it settle in. You see, I want that sense of peace ALL THE TIME! In fact, when things get slightly off kilter, I want to fix it immediately, and get right back to peaceful-road. I like ease, comfort, a sense that everything is going well. I like consistency, I like routine, I like predictability, I like same-same. The problem - life is all about change.

Example: my/our blog. Aaron came to me one night and asked, "What do you think about combining our blogs?" My end-of-the-day-answer, "Sure, why not." He ever-so-passionately went on to explain how he envisions the possibilities of God using both our individuality and our unity as a married couple to write about our journey together. Several sweet comments later, it was complete confirmation. Now enter issue.... change. You see, Aaron uses wordpress, I use blogger. Just to give you a little insight, I'm the girl who has this cell phone with massive capabilities, I use it to simply answer and dial out. I have this IPOD, haven't a clue how to download anything, I just press the shuffle button (AAron's already downloaded for me). I have this computer with massive memory, I use it for email and blogging. See a trend? I stick with something that "works for me" and I don't change. Ask my friend Jen, she's been patiently waiting for me to use quicken for my bills, I still write everything down every month.

SO, my dilemma - How do I change? When can I learn this new system? Should I think about changing what I write? Should we write, perhaps a series together? Should I even write at all? All these and more came pouring into my head about the same time, threatening to boil over... enter my ever so patient husband. Let's just say, I didn't even recognize my tone until he responded in a way I wasn't prepared for... silence. Guess what came next? A run. Guess what God and I talked about? You guessed it, something else to burn-off and refine, my stubborn resistance to change. I'm learning along the way, that it's all the little things that add up to the big. In fact, we so often wait for the BIG that we don't even recognize it until we deal with the little. My revelation today - my recognition of a precious gift he ordained for me - my husband.

So often I've wondered and prayed about the possibility of a way we could serve the Lord together. I sense a draw towards women's ministry and Aaron to men's. We've served in different capacities separately, yet there is a wonder, connection, and passion that ensues when using your unique strengths together in a way that multiplies when paired up. Also, the Lord is leading my man. My job, and my joy (when I allow it)- follow his lead, join with him, Arms Wide Open. Recently, the Lord has open opportunities and in his divine timing, is allowing this to happen currently. We are running together, in a community group together, and now serve to write whatever he lays on our hearts. It's a humbling call. My attitude today - spat in the face of this prayer request, I'm sure somewhat deflated the man of our home, and served to justify my independent attitude of "what works for me". I recognized it, I confessed, and repented. That profound, that simple. Jesus died for it, and now I can move on in freedom, renewed and refreshed from a great run with my personal God, the rock on which I stand.

Lord, I thank you for providing the opportunity and the means to spend a wonderful weekend with my husband. Lord, as we ran that last mile together, on that beautiful Saturday morning... it was hard. As we came to the end of ourselves, praying for strength and reminding ourselves of the temporary weariness our bodies were experiencing, you carried us through. Afterwards, we both admitted of our tendency to look for the "easy way out", to stop our aching legs, to will that finish line to approach now, yet it was in that time of impossible that only you carried us through to our temporary end. In fact, shortly after, we laughed as we eased into a comfortable seat, munching on some post-race goodies, that we couldn't quite recall what we even begged for moments ago. Lord, without those times, we wouldn't know you as intimately as we do. Lord, may we pray as it mentions it James, to see joy in the trials. Lord, thank you for my life-long running partner. You've created us each so uniquely different. Please help me to continue to love, respect, and cherish those differences, when all I want is the "same" of what I know in me. Give me your eyes for just one second....
I love you.

I have no greater joy!

2009-02-27T09:57:00.007-05:00

3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

My joy cannot be fully expressed in words. One cannot fully prepare your heart to contain itself at the words... "Mommy, I asked Jesus to come into my heart. And He did." If there was ever a moment for "journaling", here it is. A day to remember, a day to celebrate, a day to "detail", and one to share time and time again.

Just 2 weeks ago, my friend Jen called and left me a message about some "good news". Well, inquiring minds wanted to know, and as the list of possibilities floated through my head, I must admit I was surprised as to said news. Her daughter Amalie, close buddy of Brynn's, had prayed the salvation prayer over some hot chocolate with her 5 year old brother Andrew - precious! As good news travels fast, the kids and I talked about it over breakfast the next day, and on the way to school we began to share each of our salvation stories. It's always fun to keep "adding" to the story as each of us remembers a different detail. We've prayed for Brynn's salvation at different times during our prayers, but always in knowing the God has ordained the most perfect date and time for this occasion.

On Monday morning, the kids and I were reading in Romans 6, and in discussing dying to self and new life, we again talked about what happens at the moment of salvation. As Brynn colored in her Cubbie book during our discussion, I heard, "I already did that Mommy." "Did what honey?" "Prayed to Jesus." "When did you pray?" "Last night in my bed." "What did you pray about?" "I asked Jesus to come into my heart, and he did." Uhhhhhh, wow. The specialness of the moment hung like fog in the air. Could it be? Is our third child now a new creature in Christ, with the promise of eternity forever together with Him? YESSSS! But wait....doubt. Is this possible? Is she too young to understand? After a few more questions, all wonderings were cast aside. As she moved onto discussions of ponies, I was left to bask in the joy of knowing that my child, all my children for that fact, are living, breathing, temples of Christ Jesus. That'll take up some brain cells with thought! To see the excitement in the faces of Austin and Emma over their sister will stay with me forever!

We began a tradition of sorts in marking the day that Emma asked Jesus into her heart by none other than...a cake. And so, in carrying on said tradition, Mom was thrilled to just so-happen-to- have a cake mix on hand for such an occasion. In testing our heart shaped pan for Valentines Day, we learned that 1 cake mix box is a little too much batter (spillage over the sides gave us a clue), so, we decided to add a few cupcakes as well, one for each of us. As she sang Jesus Loves Me and we enjoyed a few moist morsels, I couldn't be more proud of how the Lord is working through the lives of my children - I have no greater joy!

Dear Lord, I thank you today for the "new birth" of our daughter, Brynn. Lord, you know how discouraged and lax I've been lately in leading my children into a time with you each morning. I thank you that your mercies are new each day, and I thank you for allowing the "extra" time that happened on Monday, knowing what was to transpire. Lord, I fail, every day. But in you, I'm learning to simply get up, and move again, for today is the day that you've given me. I thank you for delighting in sharing your story time and time again. Please watch over the ladies that will be attending the retreat tonight and tomorrow. Meet them right where they are, in such a real way. I love you.

A day to celebrate love

2009-02-18T23:07:00.004-05:00

It's taken me a few days to finally post about Valentine's Day, but ey, that's the way life flies sometimes. Not sure about you, but I had an idea planted in my small brain a little ahead of time this year, and it was fun to anticipate this day of celebration with the family. A day to celebrate love!

Thanks to the amazingly-family-tradition-oriented mind-set of my good friend Jen, I remember her mentioning the fun dinner she created with her family in years past. With a goal in mind (how can I do this in a creative AND cheap way?), off Brynn and I went to where all smart shoppers go - Target's dollar aisle! What to our wondering eye did appear but darling heart-shaped bowls, platters, napkins and straws all for $1! Complete with a used strawberry shortcake tablecloth from one of the girl's birthdays, strawberry Nesquik to create pink milk (minus the dark glass that you see with none-other-than Dad's diet Coke), a heart-shaped cake, and left over birthday balloons, and you got yourself one festive in-home meal for the bargain price of less than $20!

Though I'm not a gift-giver by nature, we have a daughter that is, so as a fun after-dinner treat, they each opened a present - Valentine's socks for the girls, Snoppy peanut-butter chocolates for the boys (slim pickins when it comes to "boy" gifts), again, the amount of money not the objective, the joy of giving out of a heart of love, the key. Now, if only everyone stuck to these rules, peace would abound. However, Daddy chose to stray far from my "the-cheaper-the-better" concept and conspired with our son to purchase a wonderful accessory for Mommy. Now, some girls may go for the bling, I simply go for the "gear", running that is. A brand new, bright pink, I-Pod Nano was puchased along with the new Nike+ chip that records anything and everything while you huff and puff away - wowwweeeee!

Now, I usually leave all the techno-stuff to my ever-passionate husband, but I must tell you, this is the COOLEST thing. There's this sweet, encouraging voice that interrupts your listening pleasure for just a moment to let you know how far you've run and to kindly inform you how much "less" farther you have to reach your goal. My "coach" counts down the yardage as I near the end, and informs me of my pace. All the information is tracked and stored on-line, and even gives you an option to connect with a community of fellow runners around the world. It's quite an encouraging, motivating tool to watch your progress.

This new "coach", though, is very different from my true coach. The newbie knows nothing about me. "She" looks at data and repeats what she has been programmed to do. Any variance from her program, and she is unaware as to how to respond. My true coach knows me through and through. His plan included me before the beginning of time (Psalm 139:16). He knows my thoughts even before I have them, he created me in my mother's womb, he even knows how many hairs are on my head, so how can I not trust him when it comes to knowing what's best for me in running. It's the times I've surrendered the outcome to Him that the journey has been the sweetest!

Throughout this ever-amazing running journey, I've begun to learn just how to listen, and ask, and hear from my Savior. He truly is my best friend. He's seen me at my worst, he's encouraged me to "go" farther than I've ever gone before, he's cheered me on to several "finish lines" and asks me to wake up and "run" again. As long as I am able, that I have breath in this body, Lord, I desire to know more of you, to be shaped into your character. I want to allow you to live your life through me, I want to abide.

Lord, thank you for allowing your fruits to be displayed in my life. Forgive me for the times I take back control and press forward in my own feeble strength. Lord, I desire the things you desire, I want to be passionate about the things you're passionate about, I want to speak gentle, kind, and encouraging words, mostly when I don't feel like it. Will you help me? I thank you in advance for your patience and your answer to my prayers. Happy Valentine's Day!

Dinner and a Movie?

2009-02-12T23:01:00.011-05:00

In these tough economic times, one business continues to flourish...the movie industry! Maybe it is our need for an escape. Maybe it's the mindless entertainment or maybe, just maybe...it's for the snacks and goodies.

Jen over at It's me...Jen has put together this online auction for our dear friends, the Tarapchaks. All of the proceeds for the auction will go to a fund which has been set up for the Tarapchak children. For more details on the auction and a list of each of the bloggers participating, you can visit the Tarapchak Auction Blog Site.

Now lets get to the good stuff! Below is your official Dinner and a Movie Bailout Basket. Escape the cold winter evening with a warm meal, a good movie and some calorie stimulus snacks. Full details below and remember...we're all in this together!

Bidding will begin Saturday February 14th @ 6:00am on this 18 piece set.
100% of the proceeds will benefit the Tarapchak kids!

Included with gift basket are:
6 Movie tickets
1 AMC Movie Theater Gift Card
5 Large Size Assorted Candy Treats

3 Microwave Popcorn Packets

3 Additional Gift Cards (McDonald's, Chili's and Blockbuster)

FREE shipping within the United States.

Auction will end at 8:00 PM Eastern Standard time.

Staring bid... $20.00
Bidding increments of... $5.00

Place a bid by leaving a comment to this post.

Cash, check or money order will be accepted.

PayPal will be accepted, with additional PayPal fee charges added on.

I MUST have a way to contact you in order for your bid to be valid.

Please email Jen with any questions!

jenfinh@yahoo.com

The winning bidder will be notified the evening the auction is done!

Please check out the master list of all other auctions benefiting the Tarapchaks...

Crossroads

2009-02-07T20:11:00.004-05:00

Have you ever found yourself in this place? A place in time where you knew you were approaching a moment where you would soon need to make a decision, a decision that would take a part of your life and change it? Often times I ponder... okay, often times I over-analyze... "think" myself around my choices and the consequences I believe will follow. In fact, I spend SO MUCH time pondering, that I wallow for a while in the indecisive pool, unable, or even paralyzed in my ability or even desire to take that next step forward. What if I choose the wrong step, the wrong path? What if I destroy people in the wake of my super-foolish decision-making ability? What if I fail, and I can't take it back? What if....

Pretty exhausting isn't it? Very unsettling, lots of worrying, not a whole lot of joy or peace is left in the dust from the tornado-ing thoughts. Well, I really didn't mean to do down this trail, but here we are. I write this as my thoughts wander back 1 week. It was early morning, and I was running on the treadmill, well, struggling on the treadmill really. I found myself at a point where my desire is gone, my body is unwilling, and my spirit is dry. It has been a struggle for the past few weeks, but I've dutifully pushed through, knowing this has been so good for me on some levels in fighting through my winter-blues. I had set aside time, made it a priority, and followed through, so why all the heartache? I knew it was time. Time to ask the question. Time to face the music. The Lord of my heart and soul needed to be consulted.

This particular run I somehow willed myself through 2 miles, then chose to do 2.5, and as I approached the 3 mile mark, I knew it was crossroads time. I simply laid out my heart. "Lord, I'm simply confused. Lord, I just want to know your direction for running in my life. I truly desire to keep enduring in this way, but if your direction includes me slowing, walking, or even stopping. I trust you. Lord, I need to know." I watched the 30 second countdown, I watced my body's reaction, I tuned into his thoughts, his peace.... nothing changed. Okay. So... I pressed the "walk" button. With eybrows furrowed, I have to admit I was confused, puzzled, a bit disappointed, but knew this direction was clear.

As I began this new path, or mind-set if you will, I felt a release. A release from things I didn't quite realize I was holding onto. Up to this point, this "running" in my life hadn't been about the distance I traveled, the calories I burned, or my caloric intake for the day. My mind hadn't been consumed at times with the "duty" of making sure my exerices check-box had been filled that day to earn my worth and to feel "good". It hadn't been about competing (even against myself). It hadn't been about the cat and mouse games of reading labels to see if I could consume said food item or if I would chastise myself for eating it later. It hadn't been about me, at all. Somehow, I became part of the "slow fade" (one of my Casting Crowns' favorites). You see, I had slowly inched my way over to the driver's seat, creaping ahead with my own knowlege and my early coaching experience, that I really didn't choose to allow him driving privileges in this area of my life. As if to say, "I got this one now Lord...really."

Scary reality, ultimate freedom. As I walked with him a bit further, it was as if that Holy Spirit whisper just brushed over my soul and said, "Do you see the gift I've given you?" I knew immediately what He was referring to - the gift of my husband. You see, about 6 months ago, out of the blue, he bgan running as well. Never "ran" before in his life. It has been an amazing interest to share in together, and he continues to this day. In fact, we're able to have a get away next month, and guess what, we planned it around running a 5k race together! Truly a delight, but until this point, there's been a pace difference. On that walk, during that moment, I knew the Lord's plan was to slow me down, not to hold me back, or to punish my competitive edge, but to allow Aaron to catch me - to be able to "run" together. Precious Jesus, you are SO GOOD!

So here we are, crossroads. I could give you so many examples of my pitiful attempts to figure things out on my own, and yet here is one example of how someone can fall into Him, and recieve and even greater gift that one could plan out on their own. He is mighty to save! He is faithful! He is trustworthy!

Psalm 32:8
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Lord, I thank you for providing firm ground for me to stand on. I thank you for being a personal God, in delighting in all the small details of my life. I thank you for answering my prayer of direction. So many times, I find that when my heart yields to you, it it then that you can speak to me, and not my built-up wall. I thank you for allowing me to learn lesssons as I veer of course, because there is where I recognize my need for dependence on you. It is there where my peace resides, and my freedom can be found. Thank you for the joy of running with you, and especially for the added joy of running with my life-mate. I thank you also for the joy of watching our son thrive, learn, and become passionate about basketball. Thank you for allowing his earthly father to coach from the sidelines as he prepares to hear from his Heavenly coach as well. Looking forward to worshipping together tomorrow! I love you.

Selfish

2009-01-24T16:44:00.007-05:00

I want to begin by praising Him today. There are many ways we can praise, there are many reasons to praise, there are several feelings why not to praise. While I could share about each of these concepts, I choose to acknowledge his Almighty Name today for simply answering a prayer of my heart, and in turn, changing my family. You see, lately I've found myself in a rut, a pattern of sorts, and I wasn't too happy about it. He provided an opportunity for accountability, and in searching my heart, he provided an avenue to confess and to ask others to join me in approaching His throne on behalf of my heart.

My heart issue - selfishness. We all have it, we haven't had to work to attain this, we were born with it. We know we have it, but many times we foolishly turn a prideful eye in acknowledging the need to call a spade a spade. We're consumed with wanting what we want, and wanting it right now. Need an example, choose any nursery room on a Sunday morning, borrow a niece or nephew, watch the neighborhood kids - I promise you, it'll show up :)

I love my children. Each child is a miracle, a blessing, and the most amazing gift I've ever been given. I adore them. They bring me joy, they make me laugh, they tickle my heart. At the same time, they challenge me. I think of them as little mirrors sometimes, reflecting back what they see. Sadly, and in all honesty, what I catch reflected at times is pretty darn ugly. Whether it's a facial expression, a tone, or a word, it's often something they've "seen" before. Something they've seen in me.

This "rut" I talked about earlier, was a pattern of how I have been speaking to my children. I've learned that children have a tendency to interrupt. Now, I can respond to life's interruptions in one of two ways. I can view this interruption as annoying, aggravating, and downright rude, therefore responding to the interrupter with annoyance, irritation, and even sarcasm, "Don't you see that I'm in the middle of something!" "You have to wait." "Mommy's busy right now, you go find something else to do." OR, I can choose to see this "interruption" as a time to evaluate my current priorities, to be thankful for a small person who cares and values my time, attention, and input, to cherish this time in their young lives. In this case, the interruptions would be met with gentleness, patience, understanding, and self-control.

We know this. We know our options. We know which is the better choice. We don't always follow this knowledge. Feelings, moods, circumstances, sheer laziness, the comfort of being "home" and with "family", all factor into the equation. In all honesty, I had found myself choosing the wrong one. It was as if the words came out, and I was taken aback, as if someone else spoke them. I apologized on a few occasions (some through gritted teeth of pride), but mostly I became impatient, over-critical, and simply annoyed by imperfections. Yikes, it's hard to type this, yet it's the truth. What to do?

Prayer. Lord, can you please help me? I don't want to be this way, I don't know what to do? After surprising sharing my heart this week at church, I'd like to humbly try to put into words His answered prayer. Basically, kind words are back to being effortless. Time spent with the children, planning activities, and simply laughing at the little mishaps of life has changed the tone of our home this week. This first began by pausing for a half-second, to filter the ugly, and out came the lovely. Strange. Amazing. True. I had a heart-change.

Luke 6:45

45The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

My friend Martha, an amazing Godly woman, sent me an email about this answered heart-prayer. She wrote, "When we "...pray without ceasing..." the Holy Spirit is unleashed to do and work God's perfect will in and for our lives...AND I think he uses our very prayers to remind us of our needs....hence the "filter" when we are about to step in quicksand!!"

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Roman 3:5)

Lord, I am so very thankful for you today. You heard my prayer, you honored my repentant heart, you changed me, and gave me your perspective again. The fruits of your spirit can be displayed in my life and can spill over onto all those I love (at the moment). You are my rock. You are my refuge. You are the way, the truth, and the life. I love you.

Pain

2009-01-24T14:15:00.006-05:00

I made a decision this morning. Before I changed my mind, came up with excuses, or weighed options of alternative choices, I layered up. I put on a layer of pants over some tights, a t-shirt, long-sleeve shirt, jacket, warm socks, hat, gloves, laced up shoes and headed out, pressing play on my IPOD to listen to an hour-long podcast. Yes, I decided to go for a run.

Now, I'm guessing that you might fall into the group that would associate the title of this post with said running activity - you think running, you associate pain. I would have to agree with you. After a little over 2 1/2 years of this adventure with the Lord, I agree that most runs do, at some point, bring about pain. I got to thinking about this while dodging icy patches today, and a memory of my first marathon training runs came to mind.

This particular run took place on a day in July, and I remember the weather to be extremely humid and hazy on this morning. One of the reasons I remember this run is because it sticks out in my mind as the day I most wanted to quit. I vividly remember tuning into my body and it was as if it could just about whisper in exhaustion, "Stop...PLEASE...stop!" With every lift of my leg, one after the other, it seemed as though every muscles was screaming, so loudly in fact, I could NOT distract my thoughts with anything else. It was as if my body never experienced a run a day in it's life before. Only by some complete miracle, by loudly crying out for help, did my mind calm down and convince by body that it would not die, but in fact, grow stronger from the experience.

Numbers 14:17
"Now may the Lord's strength be displayed, just as you have declared:

I specifically remember running down the Hilliard trail, almost reaching the half-way point where I planned on turning around for the run back home, when an image came across my mind as clear as if it was truly in front of me. I "saw" a finish line, and just beyond that finish line, I saw the faces of those precious friends that have been my prayers partners alongside me in this journey. I "saw" them, though it was like watching a silent movie in slow-motion. Some were cupping thir hands near their mouth as though they were screaming, some were bent forward and waving their hands to draw me nearer, some were jumping up and down, lifting their arms, while others just stood with a large smile on their faces. As I grew closer and closer, straining towards them, I managed to cross the "line" and immediately the picture changed. As I strained forward, leaning into what I thought would be the embrace of my friends, I instead, fell into the arms of my Jesus.

It was an amazing picture. At that moment, I had a thought. A thought that I knew came from the one who just gave me this vision. This was a picture of a race, yes, but it was not the race I was currently training for, not the finish line I had envisioned each run prior. This marathon of life, the one in which I train everyday, the race that will be complete, not just in a little over 4 hours, but instead, on the day I will see my Jesus face to face.

1 Corinthians 9:24
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

2 Timothy 4:7
7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

I can tell you that at that moment of the vision, I was running, but my feet were not touching the ground. I was overcome with emotion, thankful for experiencing pain that day. In fact, I'd love to tell you that I experienced this "floating" for the second half of my run, but I didn't. Soon after, the pain returned. Just as in life, our times of conflict, our circumstances, our struggles don't necessarily change, but our perspective, our hearts, can. We are such limited creatures, with a one-way, mostly selfish perspective. When we can start to ask for His eyes, and "see" things through His lens, we not only gain wisdom and knowledge beyond ourselves, but we receive his love, joy, peace, and hope that can be found no where else.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Pain. I've come to learn that pain has different purposes. One purpose of pain has been crafted by our creator as a type of warning system, an indicator that something is injured, damaged, not functioning properly. It allows us to investigate the source of this pain to stop continued damage and further serious repercussions. Another type of pain experienced can be caused by....adjustment, fatigue. Perhaps a muscle or another part of our anatomy has not been used in awhile, perhaps it has lay dormant, and for whatever reason, it is being called upon once again to function. It may not like it, it may "groan" at you, it may "bite" you, it may even pull and strain. Our natural inclination - mayday, mayday, eject, eject, avoid, avoid...stop.

In my experience, athletics has helped me to recognize the difference between the two. While it's important to be aware and to watch for those indicators of damage, most of the pain that I've experienced - exercise induced - has been used in building me up. I've gained physical strength and endurance, but more importantly, I had an opportunity to gain mental strength and endurance that only comes from being pushed beyond what you previously thought you were capable of. Yet beyond the world of exercise, this takes on many meanings. How many of us have exercised our "memory" muscles? Or do we all fall prey to "I just can't memorize scripture." How many of us simply avoid a decision or a circumstance because that's just not something we could ever do? In the meantime, what has God offered that we're missing out on?

Romans 5:3-4
3Not only so, but we[a] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Lord, in the strain of life, may our hearts cry out to you, may we be reminded to ask for you sight, and may we walk in the peace that passes all understanding. Thank you that we can even walk lighter from the burdens that you graciously ask for us to give over to you. Jesus, I thank you for answering my prayers. I thank you for speaking so personally to me. I long to shine my light for you. Thank you for the encouragement to persist in my pursuit of you. I love you.